


1080p

by smithsonianstucky (thelarenttrap)



Series: 2,789 Miles [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Deaf Clint Barton, Drunkenness, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Not kidding, Pansexual Sam Wilson, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Youtuber AU, i headcanon everyone in this as lgbtq+, meet cute, probably some medical inaccuracies, q word used as umbrella term, sort of, the lords name taken in vain, unapologetic vlogging, who needs straight characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 18:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9396980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelarenttrap/pseuds/smithsonianstucky
Summary: YouTube vlogger Steve Rogers is headed to his first VidCon, where he will meet all the faces irl that he has only ever seen on his Macbook screen. This means he is going to meet Bucky Barnes, the California based tattooed skating vlogger that Steve has crushed on over the internet for three years.Cue assumed sexualities, intimate knowledge of stranger's lives, and comment culture.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I have never written pre serum Steve before or deaf Clint so this was definitely a challenge but the internet is such a place of representation and acceptance that a YouTuber AU simply invited including disabled characters and also the "nobody is straight" trope. I had several beta readers for the disabled community but PLEASE do not hesitate to point out any problems with my portrayal. As an abled person, I know that I am prone to inaccuracies and readily accept any criticism for attempting to represent this community. I did perform extensive research on the disabilities portrayed but blog posts, YouTube videos, and articles can only teach you so much and there are things that only first hand experience can teach.
> 
> On that note, thank you so much to Sarah and Dean for betaing this fic! All remaining mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Quick warning for some vomit talk, seeing as there is a drunk scene and the morning after.

Steve is, admittedly, a little nervous about his flight. Has he flown before? Yes. Often? One could consider this affirmative as well. It didn’t mean Steve did not dread the prospect of a cold he could contract within hours of leaving the terminal. It was seemingly as unavoidable as the progression of time, unhindered by no amount of Vitamin C and hand sanitizer (although that didn’t stop Steve from having a travel size Purell in his allotted sandwich size Ziploc of carry on liquids).

The good thing is his layover is in D.C. for an hour and that means he gets to fly the rest of the way to California with Sam beside him. The five hours and twenty minutes of airtime between the second and third airports of the day were going to be a lot more fun than the first one.

For now, Steve finds his seat and quickly slides into the window seat, careful with his vlogging camera, and shoves his backpack down by his feet. Airplanes are the one place he is thankful for being short, as the minimal legroom is sufficient for his small frame. 

His vlogging camera is running, catching every moment while boarding the plane. “Thankfully I have the window seat,” he tells the lens. “I like to watch takeoff and touchdown. This will be a short flight. I have a layover in D.C. where I’ll be meeting up with Sam for the rest of the journey.” His viewers have met Sam before, rather often considering they live in different cities. “Probably going to sleep for the next few hours, so I’ll check in at the D.C. airport.” 

Steve ignores the looks the people in the row in front are throwing over their shoulders; he is used to it by now.

Steve has been daily vlogging for a little over two years now, since he graduated from his two year photography program and began his freelance career. Now, he makes money from his pictures and the few brand deals that come his way. Right now, he is making a decent amount raving about the new camera bag Amazon sent him for free so long as he plugs the brand at least twice a week. He is easily going to get in one of the mentions today seeing as he is utilizing the bag fully to cart around three cameras, five lenses, his MacBook, and a bunch of other crap for the trip. He even has a power strip shoved into one pocket so that he can charge all his electronics in his room at Vidcon.

Vidcon. It is the magical event to which Steve has never been but always yearned. This year is the first time he was invited as a creator. He will be on a panel about daily vlogging on the second day, and he doesn’t think that he could be more nervous and excited at the same time. The most nerve wracking part, however, is going to be meeting all the other creators. Sure he has met Sam and various other NYC based YouTubers, but the big names all live in L.A. and will be shacking up in the Anaheim hotel rooms too.

Someone settles into the seat beside Steve and he barely glances at the businessman before digging into the front pocket of his backpack for his headphones. Careful to make sure the bag is secure beneath his seat first, Steve slips the headphones around his head and settles the foamy bits over his ears. It would be  _ so _ much easier to travel with the small Apple headphones he got with his iPhone, but they can’t work with his hearing aids so it’s this or nothing. The headphones cause his glasses to press uncomfortably into the side of his head though (he doesn’t have contacts in since the airplane makes his eyes feel too dry if he does), so he takes those off and folds them in his lap, sighing in his usual frustration at all the details of his health issues. Whatever, he is  _ over it _ (he was, in fact, not over it; Even after 21 years of it).

He wakes when the plane begins to descend into D.C., the cabin pressure change uncomfortable. Steve opens and closes his jaw a couple times to make his ears pop and then looks out the window to watch the city approach. Slyly, he films it despite the no electronics rule as they circle the runway and finally touch down.

As soon as they announce cell phone usage okay, there is the movement of everyone reaching into their bags. Steve takes the hint and pulls his phone from his back pocket to text Sam. He has two from his friend already, one complaining about how long the line for security is and another saying that he bought Steve a coffee when he got Starbucks. God bless Sam Wilson.

Steve lets him know that his plane has landed and that they will be at the gate in about ten minutes. Then he turns on his camera to vlog as the plane taxis to terminal.

Once he is inside the presidentially named airport, he gets his bearings and heads to the gate where Sam is waiting. Thankfully, it isn’t a long journey and Steve is able to roll along on his penny board, gliding on the smooth airport floors to come up behind Sam. The other guy doesn’t notice him, so Steve pokes his left shoulder before ducking and standing to his right, of course filming the whole thing.

“Steve!” Sam exclaims, jumping up from his seat to receive a one armed hug from Steve as he films the whole greeting. “How have you been?”

“Same old, same old. What about you?” Steve asks. 

Sam and Steve had met online right as Steve started his channel. Sam was barely established at the time, but his very first video was when he came out as pan, so Steve had immediately messaged him to congratulate him. At the time, Steve had been looking for help with coming out on his own channel and Sam was a great help in establishing a timeline that Steve was comfortable with. They met for the first time a couple months later and Sam was there while Steve put his vlog live in which he came out, only two weeks after Peggy and him broke up, and their friendship had been solid ever since. Sam wasn’t a daily vlogger however, instead calling himself a “social justice” creator and tackling all kinds of informational topics in his videos. 

Once Steve sits down, Sam remembers the coffee and hands it over, waving off Steve’s thanks. They settle in for an hour of easy conversation as the layover passes. Steve is thankful Sam has come to the airport early for his flight so that Steve would not be waiting alone. 

When they finally board Steve’s second plane of the day, Steve gets down to business and begins editing his vlog from the previous day. Sam pulls out his computer and takes advantage of the inflight Wi-Fi to catch up on the YouTube content posted over the last couple of days. As Steve is deciding where to crop a clip of the subway arriving yesterday (he had traveled for a photoshoot with a start up fashion company), he glances over to see that Sam is watching his vlog from Monday and sneakily films it for today’s vlog, smiling to himself.

When Steve finishes the edit, they settle in to watch a movie together. Sam thankfully produces a headphone splitter cable from his backpack and saves Steve the awkwardness of not being able to use earbuds. 

When they finally land in L.A., they pack everything back into their backpacks and disembark the plane to head straight to the luggage claim. On the way, Sam orders an Uber from his app, somehow not running into anyone as he walks and scrolls. Steve could swear the man is magical. At the baggage claim, Sam helpfully films Steve struggling to get his suitcase off of the moving belt, nearly taking down an older woman in the process and having to apologize profusely.

“Now you have comedy content,” Sam tells him as he hands back the vlogging camera.

“Thanks, asshole.”

Their Uber driver immediately knows they are YouTubers because Steve films getting into the car and provides good conversation all the way to the hotel, a trip that takes a horribly long time in L.A. traffic. Steve can’t hear everything being said, so he gazes out the window and watches the city scroll by as Sam talks with the driver. It is the first time he has been to L.A. and he feels like he is in a movie as he sees the romanticised city. Sam and him are staying a few days after the convention in order to play tourist and Steve can’t wait to branch out from the convention center. 

Steve tunes back into the conversation as Sam is elaborating on the schedule for the weekend, answering questions the driver has about the convention and YouTube life in general.

“There is a big welcome party tomorrow night, they really pull out all the stops for us!” he says cheerily. Steve’s stomach flips thinking about everyone he will meet that he has only ever seen through a computer or phone screen. It will be surreal if nothing else.

Steve turns his camera back on as soon as the hotel comes into view past the palm trees and fountain out front. He captures the entire moment of walking into the golden lobby and receiving his room key.  _ Holy shit _ Steve can’t believe that he is here.

Sam and him head up to their rooms. The numbers are beside one another and Steve has a sneaky suspicion that is affirmed as soon as he enters his room: a shared door joins the two. It is one of those rooms meant for large families, so that they can have enough beds but not leave kids unattended. Shuffling sounds from the other side alert him of Sam undoing the deadbolt and he does the same with his, whipping open the door in their shared wall to make the rooms one.

“Oh thank god, I’ve never stayed in a hotel by myself,” Steve admits.

“Think the boogey man is going to get you?” Sam says as he turns to toss his ball cap onto the bed.

“No, just the hotel staff,” he jokes back, following Sam into his room, camera rolling. “I can’t believe they gave us rooms with two queens. Do they think we are going to have a party in here or something?”

Sam turns and gives Steve an insinuating look but then remembers the camera is on and bursts out laughing.

“All jokes people,” Steve tells the vlog. “Although, we are both legal to drink.”

“Don’t get any ideas,” Sam says. “Don’t you have a vlog to upload?”

Steve returns to his room and uploads his vlog from yesterday to YouTube and has it go live immediately. Quickly, he does a room tour for the vlog, noting the view from the window where he can see a corner of DisneyLand before returning to the doorway between Sam and his room.

“Got any plans?” Steve asks.

“Check your phone, seems like everyone is in the talks. Pretty sure you’re in this group chat at least,” Sam tells him without looking up from his phone as he lounges across his bed.

Steve goes back into his room to dig his phone from the pocket of his discarded sweatshirt and sees that he has twenty messages. God he hates group chats.

“Everyone seems to be leaning towards taking the out-of-towners to In-N-Out burger,” Steve notes as he scans the messages he is behind on. “Although, I don’t know everyone in this chat.”

“Whose numbers do you have?”

“Clint Barton and I can assume the one flirting with him is his girlfriend, Natasha, right?”

“I don’t have either of their numbers but that last message is from Tony Stark. And the one calling everyone dorks for wanting to go to In-N-Out is Bucky Barnes.”

Steve thinks he feels his heart skip a beat. He is in a group message with Bucky Barnes. “What?” Steve asks stupidly.

“Tony? Pranks? Tech? Bucky Barnes? He daily vlogs too you know.”

“Oh yeah, I know them. Sorry, just misheard.”

Sam shrugs off the moment as Steve’s hearing problems and Steve is thankful he doesn’t have to admit that he has been crushing on Bucky Barnes for two years over the internet. It’s almost embarrassing how closely Steve follows Bucky’s vlogs. They don’t even have common interests. He has no excuse for watching skating vlogs of some California punk. Hell, he even has a full sleeve of tattoos and has an entire vlog where he explains the technical differences between his boards. Steve is lucky he even knows that his penny board is called a penny board.

Steve doesn’t send a single message in the chat, instead letting Sam talk with everyone as they decide where to meet.. Then, Sam and Steve gather their things, Steve making sure he has an extra camera battery, and head out into the hallway.

Downstairs, Sam easily spots Clint and Natasha at the pool bar.

“That was quick. It’s like you have a radar for them,” Steve says as they approach the couple.

“Well, Natasha’s red hair does really stand out,” Sam points out.

Steve stops walking. “What did you just say?”

“Are your hearing aids okay today?” Sam asks.

“No, repeat what you said.”

“Natasha’s red hair really stands out?”

“Her hair is red,” Steve murmurs to himself. “Oh my god, my life has been a lie.”

A light flicks on behind Sam’s eyes. “I literally forgot that you’re color blind, no offense.”

“None taken, although you are one of the people I text pictures of shirts to when I am shopping to check the color.” 

Clint and Natasha approach as Steve finished the sentence, leaving the bar behind in favor of friends.

“Steve! Sam!” Natasha greets. 

Clint quickly signs a hello and Steve signs back even though he’s slightly out of practice with American Sign Language. He hasn’t regularly used it since he was little, his mom having taught him for when he was stubborn and took off his hearing aids. It was mostly so she could scold him from across the room for doing so, but the language stuck with Steve. 

Steve still isn’t fully over learning that Natasha isn’t a brunette as she hugs both of them. “It’s so nice to finally meet you in real life!” 

Natasha is perhaps the most eclectic YouTuber Steve can think of. She has a smaller channel, like all of them meeting today, but she covers everything from self help talks, to educational videos on women's reproduction, to makeup tutorials. Steve appreciates the wide range she provides for her audience.

Clint approaches and shakes Steve’s hand before smiling broadly and pulling him in to clap him on the back. They have met once before, when Clint was in New York for fun and they spent a day breaking onto rooftops to take pictures of the cityscape. Clint makes urban exploration vlogs, a unique platform for him as a deaf person. He captions the videos instead of narrating, which allows for an almost poetic narrative. Steve remembers being enthralled when he had first come across Clint’s channel, then named “Hawkeye” as a nod to his unique ability to spot high places to climb to. Steve had messaged him right away and a friendship had been born. Clint’s answer to the first message had said, “Us hard of hearing have to stick together.”

Other YouTubers filter in quickly. Those who have not appeared in a timely manner are hounded by messages until they arrive. Steve meets Tony Stark for the first time and nearly rolls his eyes because of course the guy has an Apple Watch on. The guy owns every piece of tech known to man and has built even more himself. Half his channel is practical machinery and technical help while the other half is his elaborate pranks that usually somehow utilize said machinery. Often they are Goldberg machines and Steve finds the videos enthralling.

So many people becomes overwhelming as Steve’s hearing aids struggle to differentiate the noises for him, and Steve ends up missing when Bucky arrives. He realizes Bucky’s presence when he seemingly appears behind Clint, gently putting a hand on his shoulder to warn him of his presence before turning to Steve.

Here’s the thing: Bucky Barnes is even more handsome up close than in his vlogs. Even 1080p cannot do him justice. His hair is coffee colored glory and his eyes have a friendly glow to them that offers a flirtatious charm to anyone in the vicinity.

“Steve Rogers, right? Bucky Barnes,” he says, offering a hand, camera held in the other. Steve is thankful people shake with their right hand as he doesn’t think he could handle being that close to Bucky’s tattoo sleeve right now without sweating.

Thankfully, Steve is able to reign in his gaping after only a second and shakes Bucky’s hand. “You know my channel?” he somehow manages to ask past the dryness in his mouth.

“Yeah! Been watching for….maybe a year now?”

“About as long as I’ve been watching yours!” Steve laughs and okay, maybe it is a lie but it is too creepy to admit that he has barely missed a day of Bucky’s vlogs for twice as long as Bucky has watched his.

Behind Bucky, Clint signs “liar” and Steve glares daggers. He is going to have to tread lightly since Clint and Natasha are some of Bucky’s closest YouTube friends. Steve is possibly embarrassed that he knows this, but he  _ had _ found Bucky’s channel through Clint’s. At least he had a decent excuse should it somehow become apparent just  _ how  _ much he knows about Bucky.

With everyone assembled, Natasha ushers them out into the city and to the restaurant.

“Let’s go before we starve,” she laughs as they follow the sidewalk along the curved drive of the hotel.

Steve vlogs as they walk, explaining who he is with and where they’re going. His vlog ends up being a lot of Clint signing obscenities in the background and Steve has to repeat himself without perpetrator several times. When Steve turns off his camera, him and Clint spend the walk together as everyone else mingles. 

At In-N-Out Burger, Steve is the last to order. He fell to the back of the group out of habit, allocating himself the last spot to save everyone else the time, and himself the embarrassment, of others overhearing his questions about the menu items. His wide range of allergies is not the worst thing in the world, but it does prove itself difficult when he is not making his own food. Thankfully, today he can just ask for no tomatoes on his burger and not experience any other issues.

He settles against the wall beside Sam while they all wait for their food. Naturally, he pulls his vlog camera from his pocket to film a quick overview of the group and the restaurant.

Familiar movement to the side catches Steve’s eye and he turns to see Clint signing to Bucky. When Bucky lifts his hands and signs in response, Steve feels a tiny moment of shock. It is surprising to Steve that others besides him and Natasha know the language, but once he really thinks about it, he should have assumed Bucky would know, otherwise it would be impossible for him to maintain such a close friendship with Clint. 

“I should probably learn,” Sam says beside him, following his line of sight. “I know the basics that you taught me, but it would probably make Clint’s life easier if I knew how to sign too.”

Steve nods, still recovering from learning that Bucky can communicate in what is technically Steve’s first language.

 

“Ketchup?” Tony asks as he slides packets across the table. Sam grabs some immediately, as does Bucky on Steve’s other side. “No ketchup, Steve?”

It takes a moment for Steve to realize he is being spoken to, the noise of the restaurant messing with his aids. He easily figures out what Tony is asking though because of the offered ketchup packet in front of him. 

“No thanks,” he answers. He turned his hearing aids down when he came in because of the volume and it is making the conversation difficult. “And just so you know, I can barely hear you right now.”

“Sorry,” says Tony, and Steve can see that he is consciously working to talk slower as he does so. Steve knows that he will be back to top speed in a few minutes though. At least he gave some effort though, right? “But seriously, no ketchup on your burger?”

Internally, Steve sighs. This is another a moment he hate. when people discover more of his many health issues. It always ends up as a long discussion where Steve finds himself explaining every ailment he possesses, which is a depressing list to say the least.

Sam saves him however. “Steve is allergic to tomatoes.”

“Oh,” Tony answers.

Bucky shifts beside him and Steve turns expectantly. “That’s not exactly…common is it?” Bucky asks. 

“I mean…” Steve starts, glancing towards Bucky, which is a mistake because now he’s looking right into Bucky’s blue gaze and lost his words. “It’s…it’s not like being allergic to peanuts or something.” What a stupid thing to say, because then he is forced to add, “Although, I am allergic to those too.”

“And shellfish,” Sam helpfully reminds him.

“Yeah, but I don’t like seafood anyways so it’s not even a problem.”

“And bees.” Steve shoots finger guns at Sam and encourages him to finish the list. It thankfully keeps Steve from having to explain it himself. “Cantaloupe, bananas, cats, poppy seeds, and a slight gluten intolerance.”

Bucky stares for a moment. “How do you survive in the world?”

“Carefully,” Steve says with a smile to hide his dismay at the turn of conversation. He doesn’t hide much from his vlogs. They obviously know his eyesight and hearing problems, but the rest isn’t something he chooses to elaborate on. Yeah he has rods in his back for his scoliosis and he can’t eat a good number of foods, and he wheezes like he is dying after one lap around a track (the penny board isn’t just for fun; it makes traveling around a big city on a budget  _ possible _ for Steve) but he doesn’t choose to share all that with his viewers. It is times like this that he is bitten in the ass by his want for privacy.

Thankfully, Clint pulls the attention away from Steve by signing for a napkin and the conversation switches to the panels for the week. 

Clint’s on two with Steve it turns out. There’s one about disabilities representation on social media and the vlogging one Steve was asked to sit on too.

“I’ve got the lifestyle vlogging panel on Friday too and my meet and greet on Saturday,” Bucky tells the table and Steve nearly drops the fry he was about to eat.

“What?” Bucky asks.

“I’m on that same panel,” Steve says. Oh shit, oh god, he is going to be in front of a couple hundred people and probably being filmed while in the same room as Bucky.  _ Shit _ . He is going to make a  _ fool _ of himself.

“Sweet! I heard Peter Quill is going to be on it as well!” Bucky doesn’t seem to notice how Steve has just racked up enough nerves to sweat through the pits of his t-shirt.

“And Clint,” Natasha mentions as Clint gives Steve a knowing look. Clint is onto him and Steve can feel a flush creeping into his cheeks. It will be all the way down his neck and across his chest too in moments.

Steve abruptly pushes his chair back. “Bathroom,” he murmurs as he hurries away into the restaurant.

In the bathroom, Steve stares at himself in the mirror and wills down the flush in his face. When his stubborn internal talk doesn’t work, he splashes cold water on his skin and takes a few deep breaths.

Why does Bucky Barnes have to be the finest boy he has ever seen?

To distract himself, he pulls out his phone and checks the comments on yesterday’s vlog. He responds to one about his new tattoo, the small triangle now on the back of his bicep, and another about his camera until he finally feels like his face is a normal color once again and he can head back to the table.

Back at the hotel, Tony pitches the idea of hanging out in the hot tub tonight and everyone else agrees cheerfully. Steve sighs in resignation as Sam hurries them to the elevator to go change into swim trunks.

“You can swim, right?” Sam teases Steve as they make their way down the hallway to their rooms.

“Of course I can swim!” Steve says. He takes a moment to find his key in his wallet and slips it into the door beside Sam. “I just can’t go in hot tubs with my hearing aids on.”

Sam pauses with his door half open, the silence hanging between them a question.

“The steam,” Steve tells him. “It messes with them. So I would have to take them out which makes a hot tub social situation kind of pointless.”

“Shit, sorry man. I should have checked before we all got so excited.”

“S’not your fault, plus I can still hangout with you guys. I’m fine to put my feet in and stuff too.”

Sam nods and Steve disappears into his room to change.

Down at the pool, Tony has rounded up more YouTubers to join them. Upon their arrival, Sam and Steve are introduced to Maria Hill and Thor Odinson, the latter of which claps Steve on the back so hard he thinks it broke a rib.

“You did a collab with Natasha a couple months ago, right?” Steve asks Maria.

“Yup, five minute makeup on hers and the yoga challenge on mine. It’s my most viewed video actually.”

Natasha calls something from her spot by the hot tub, but Steve doesn’t catch it. Maria laughs though, so it must have been a joke. When she sees Steve and Clint’s confusion, Natasha signs,  _ It’s because everyone wants to watch our hot asses tangle together. _

Quickly, Clint signs that the comments on that video make him want to knock some skulls together.

“What is your usual content?” Steve asks. He feels like he should know, as Maria is a YouTuber with connections to his friends, but he has never checked out her channel.

“Self defense teaching mostly,” she says, surprising him. “I vlog once or twice a week too, let people see the classes I teach as my day job.”

“Day job? Who has a day job?” Bucky asks, sidling into the conversation, vlog camera up and open. He had filmed some during dinner and on the walk back, but only now does Steve realize that he is going to be on Bucky’s chanel. The realization makes him feel like a middle schooler with a crush, which is not far from the truth. “People who don’t have six brand deal skateboards,” Maria teases Bucky.

“That and Canon just sent me this camera,” he says, pulling his arm back from just filming Maria to get all three of them in the frame. Steve can see them in the small panel hanging to the side and tries to focus there or the lens instead of on Bucky’s face. “I think it has better low-light capabilities, what do you guys think?”

“Did you upgrade from the powershot?” Steve asks. It’s the camera most vloggers use, including himself. They carry on the camera talk for a few moments, helping Bucky get the plug he needs for the day. 

Clint gets in the hot tub first and it is a domino effect. Steve watches everyone strip down to their bathing suits and settle onto the benches around the sides. He sits on one of the nearby chairs and waits for someone to ask the inevitable.

“Steve, join us!” Thor calls, his voice booming so loudly that even Steve catches it. Thor’s shoulders are so wide that he is taking up two seats by himself. Steve has never watched his channel but has no doubt it is about weightlifting and exercise.

Steve opens his mouth to respond but before he can, Bucky chimes in, turning so that his voice will properly carry over to him. “You can’t because of the tattoo, right?” 

Steve’s mind goes blank because Bucky Barnes watches his vlogs closely enough to know that Steve got the tattoo only fifteen days ago. He doesn’t know what to do with this wonderful information but  _ holy shit _ . Seamlessly, Bucky provides the perfect excuse to stay out of the water.

“Yeah, can’t go in water for four weeks,” he replies (but Bucky of course knows this about tattoos already). However, despite his words, he scoots to the side to make room between him and Clint anyways.

“At least stick your feet in,” he says, eyes earnestly catching Steve’s. And Steve is helpless because he can’t disappoint that beautiful face.

And so Steve finds himself vlogging the rambunctious hot tub, introducing Thor and Maria to his viewers and asking them both to briefly describe their channels, all while being hyper aware that his calf is brushing Bucky’s bicep. Even after he turns his camera off, he can barely focus on the conversations carrying across the hot tub and it has nothing to do with his hearing. Tony is telling some story and everyone is laughing but Steve is somewhere else. Clint glances up at him, eyebrows knit and Steve signs to him, “What?”

“Why are you tense?”

“I am not tense.”

Clint rolls his eyes in response. 

Thankfully, Bucky isn’t paying any attention to exchange beside him.

When Steve grabs his camera, deciding to get more footage, he realizes that Clint has barely been in his vlog because Steve can’t hold an ASL conversation  _ while _ holding his camera. He pulls a pool chair closer and sets his camera up on it. This way, he can capture conversations with Clint, and everyone else as the night carries on.

Sam is one of the first to peace out, sighting the long day of travel as “an excuse to leave the party” (or at least that’s how Tony puts it).

“Is it really a party if there is no alcohol?” Clint asks. Natasha repeats it for him to the group.

Bucky signs to Clint that he agrees, but falters for words when he begins to joke about what he would like to be drinking at the moment. He resorts to having Clint lip read for a few words and Steve instinctually signs them too, in case Clint misses what Bucky is saying.

“Thanks,” Bucky says, briefly touching Steve’s knee. Butterflies explode in his stomach. “I haven’t been using sign language long, if you couldn’t tell.” He gives a small, self-deprecating smile and Steve has to force himself to not overreact.

“Yeah, no problem.” Steve turns when he feels Clint’s eyes on him. Clint doesn’t say anything, but there’s a knowing look on his face when he turns back.  _ Fuck _ .

“Okay, I’ve got to get to bed, I want to get up early enough tomorrow for the free breakfast and to edit before Vidcon really starts,” Steve tells the group. He touches Clint’s shoulder to get his attention and signs the same to him. Clint pulls a puppy dog face but then says goodnight.

“I’ll head out now too,” Bucky says, rising from the water and striding across the hot tub to the stairs. He gets out and quickly goes to the chair where he left the white pool towel for himself, wrapping it around his shoulders.

Steve has to pass Bucky to head inside, and he turns to walk in stride with Steve to the doors.

“I didn’t realize how cold it had gotten,” Bucky says as he wraps the towel tighter around his shoulders. Steve is very pointedly trying not to look at the peak of his abs where the towel ends do not meet near Bucky’s waist. “It was a good idea to keep your shirt on.”

Steve’s just going to let him keep thinking that is why he kept his shirt on.

“I haven’t watched the vlog you uploaded today,” Bucky begins as they approach the elevators. “Didn’t you have a photoshoot the day before you left?”

Steve tries to hide how surprised he is, but he is pretty sure he fails. He can’t believe that Bucky actually keeps up with his vlogs enough to know details about Steve, that he bothers to watch scrawny Steve run around New York and take photos when they live such different lives. He thinks his mouth might be open and quickly fills it with words.

“Um yeah, fashion photos for a new magazine,” Steve says. The elevator arrives and they both step in, turning to hit the floor buttons at the same time. Bucky is closer, so Steve retracts his hand. “Um, I’m on four,” he adds when Bucky gives him a questioning look while hovering his finger near the panel. He hits the button for Steve, and then six for himself.

“How did it go?” Bucky asks and Steve can’t tell if he is just keeping up the conversation or asking because he really cares.

“Good, the model was really easy to work with so we were done quicker than I expected. Got to edit a vlog in a coffee shop on the way home which was nice.” Steve’s voice sounds distant to even his own ears, lacking inflection like his mind is somewhere else. In reality, he is simply overwhelmed that Bucky knows his life.

“I don’t understand how you drink so much coffee,” Bucky says, almost to himself.

“It’s not good for me, that’s for sure,” Steve says. He opens his mouth, a question about Bucky’s life on his lips, but the elevator doors ping open on floor four.

Steve flounders for a moment.

“This is you, Steve,” Bucky reminds him.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll see you… probably tomorrow?” Steve bites his bottom lip as he realizes how stupid he sounds.  _ Shit _ .

“Yeah, are you going to the welcome party?” Bucky’s arm darts out as he speaks, quickly stopping the elevator doors from shutting and taking Steve up to the sixth floor too.

“Yeah, you?” Steve says.

“Of course!” Bucky answers, eyes playful. “I guess I’ll see you there.”

“See you then!” Steve says, only it comes out like a squeak and he kicks himself again. He quickly leaves the elevator.

“Bye, Steve!” The elevator doors slide shut as Steve turns around to reply.

Thursday is one of the longer days of Vidcon. It seems to pass slowly, the mainstage only holding sponsored events by the corporations involved. Steve thinks Instagram executives have held more sessions than anyone else so far.

Clint and Steve opted out of spending most of the day in the venue, seeing as their small channels were not in high enough demand to have appearances today. Both of them went to the session about brand deals, Steve interpreting as much as he can for Clint seeing as the stages did not have ASL interpreters unless they were requested by the presenter. It sucked, accessibility was not something that should be only respected sometimes, but at least Clint had Steve.

On their way back to the hotel, the golf cart taxiing them passes one that is headed to the convention center. Steve is filming, cataloguing the windy little drive, and it takes him a moment to realize someone has called his name.

“Steve! Clint!” someone yells, a tattooed arm waving at them.

“Bucky?” Steve asks, patting Clint’s arm to get his attention too. He quickly signs to let Clint know Bucky had gone by.

Natasha is filming in hers and Clint’s room, so Steve takes Clint to his when they get back to the hotel. They plop down onto opposite beds as Steve films a short explanation about needing to edit. He’ll check back in later when they go to dinner.

_ “ _ Need to edit?” Clint signs, having gathered what Steve was telling the vlog by lip reading.

_ “ _ Yeah, feel free to hang out.” Steve fetches his laptop from the desk and settles back onto the bed. It is a long edit, seeing as he had taken a lot of footage in the airports and at the hot tub. He tries to watch his face and make sure he is not fawning over Bucky in any clips, but can’t be sure.

Deep in concentration, Steve doesn’t notice Clint rise from the bed until he touches Steve’s shoulder. 

“What’s up?” Steve asks him.

_ “ _ Do you have a crush on Bucky?” Clint asks.

Steve is caught off guard by the bluntness of the question. He takes a moment to reply, hands hovering in front of his body. “Yes, but he can’t know.”

“Why? _ ” _ Clint asks with a single gesture.

“Because it’s embarrassing.”

This time, Clint doesn’t respond and Steve watches him as he shifts on his feet beside the bed.

“What?” Steve says, though he probably didn’t need to sign it. The look on his face is enough. .

“Nothing, just don’t make assumptions is all.”

Steve doesn’t know what Clint means by that, but the conversation seems over as Clint goes back to the other bed and pulls his phone back out.

Steve waits a moment before going back to his work, confused as hell.

He is almost done with the edit and a few hours have passed in which Clint nearly finished Steve’s box of Cheddar Whales.Steve doesn’t look up again until Clint slaps his phone against Steve’s thigh. 

“Ow,” Steve mutters, looking up to see Clint telling him to look at the tweet on the phone screen. Curious and a little wary, Steve takes the phone from the sheets and turns it to see the screen.

**@captioningcreators:** YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN LOVE @clintbarton

Attached is a screenshot of Steve and Bucky that can’t be from Steve’s vlog seeing as he’s still working on it. In the image, Bucky is holding the camera at arm's length to get them both in the frame so he must have already uploaded his vlog of yesterday’s activities. Steve gulps as he realizes that they are talking on the way back from In-N-Out and he recognizes the full flush creeping across his skin as he makes eye contact with Bucky.

Steve finally looks up from the tweet to see Clint’s smug face.

“Shit.”

“Embarrassed? Shouldn’t be,” Clint says.

“What the hell is that comment.”

“Use your eyes.”

Steve doesn’t know what Clint means by that either. He read the goddamn tweet just fine. He tosses Clint’s phone back to him, a little annoyed, and returns to his laptop to finish the edit and upload it. The moment it’s done, he scrambling to find Bucky’s vlog from yesterday.

Clint comes closer to watch too, that knowing look on his face again. 

Steve takes a second to turn on the closed captions. Bucky is better at captioning than most. Hardly any Youtubers take the time. 

The vlog starts at Bucky’s apartment in L.A. as he makes breakfast, camera resting on the counter as he scrambles his eggs and puts them onto the plate between the lens and the stove. He then intros, saying the date and welcoming his viewers. After that, he finishes packing for VidCon and meets Clint and Natasha to drive to Anaheim.

Similar to Sam and Steve, the three of them had settled into their rooms and puttered about for a while. Steve is tempted to fast forward the vlog, anxious about when he appears. 

The first clip Steve appears in is when Bucky films approaching the group meeting by the pool. Steve is talking to Clint, both their hands moving quickly as they communicate. He is lost from view as Bucky films greeting Tony, and it cuts to Bucky shaking Steve’s hand. Admittedly, Steve thinks he looks a little star struck but nothing  _ bad _ . He isn’t embarrassed while watching the vlog…yet. 

At the restaurant, watching the vlog slowly turns into a form of torture for Steve. On the bed, Clint’s shoulder against Steve shake with laughter as they watch the camera catch Steve looking at Bucky several times. The arrangement of their seating at In-N-Out was not something Steve had thought of in terms of filming. But every time Bucky is turning the camera from himself to someone else at the table, the lens catches Steve beside him.  _ Shit _ . The screen grabbed, tweeted part is coming soon and Steve doesn’t know if he can watch.

“So we’re headed back to the hotel now,” Bucky says, filming himself as the group walks. “Trying to figure out what to do for the rest of the night now. Steve, any ideas?” Bucky asks and the camera pans to include Steve too in the frame now. He was obviously about to film too, his camera in hand and about to rise.

“Um…not at the moment,” Steve says quickly. Too quickly. And there is the flush, starting in his cheeks before appearing on his chest and creeping up his neck.

In real life, Steve groans. Clint cannot hear it, but he must recognize Steve’s distress and pats his shoulder patronizingly.

Once the hot tub scenes start, Steve can barely watch. Once again, he is beside Bucky and is caught in most of the shots. Thankfully, Bucky had not filmed the two of them talking almost at all, but whenever he films himself, Steve’s thigh is beside his shoulder from sitting on the edge of the hot tub. And the couple times that Bucky’s shoulder obviously bumps into Steve’s leg, any viewer can tell that it stiffens, hyper aware.

When the vlog ends, Steve immediately goes to the comments. It is as bad as he thought. Mixed in with everyone asking who else is part of the notification squad for Bucky is a number of comments that make Steve blush.

**Clarissa Schoomacker:** Did anyone else notice Steve fawning over Bucky?

**ClintashasLove:** Was this the first time Steve and Bucky have met? Definitely seemed like it and Steve was in over his head… if you know what I mean

**Fred Thatch:** That little dude was def into Bucky

**camerasandcreators:** Don’t get why Steve is part of this group, he seemed out of place.

**NYCYouTuberLove:** @camerasandcreators shut up, those are all his friends. Probs just nervous. I don’t think hes gone to vidcon before

**YTubeFannGrl:** Omfg I ship Steve and Bucky so much!!!!!!!

When Steve looks at Clint, the latter quickly signs to ask how Steve is doing.

“I hate this,” Steve tells him. “Do you think Bucky has read any comments yet?”

“Probably not,” Clint replies. “He has been at the convention. And there are no replies from him yet.”

“What do I do?”

Clint thinks for a moment. “Own it.”

Too late Steve realizes his own vlog has just gone live, only a few hours after Bucky and he has no idea how to answer the comments that will surely appear on his now too. Even worse, when he checks the description on Bucky’s video, he has linked all the social media of everyone in his vlog, including Steve’s. It is easy access for the shippers to find his too.

“I’m screwed.”

“Remember when you told me that before you came out on YouTube you’d never been outted?” Clint asks. “Well, your crush has been outted.”

Steve pretends to punch Clint’s shoulder.

Clint is back in his room by the time Sam returns. The welcome party is approaching and Steve is feeling quite nervous. His own Twitter mentions are probably half people asking him about Bucky and now he has to see him downstairs.

Sam, oblivious to the day’s events for Steve, asks about what they will film for his channel while they are together. He is at the full length mirror in Steve’s room, smoothing his shirt, and asking if he wants to film a Q&A tomorrow.

Steve thinks he agrees to that, but he may or may not be having an identity crisis over which shoes wear so he’s not sure. So far, it took him nearly ten minutes to pick a shirt and he doesn’t know if he can do this.

“You okay?” Sam asks when he glances over and Steve is sitting cross-legged on the floor by his shoes.

“Yeah…just…” and he almost tells Sam what is going on,  _ almost _ , but backs out. “Which shoes should I wear?”

Sam comes over and only takes a moment looking at the three pairs Steve brought.

“The boots, they’ll make the whole thing a little more business casual,” Sam says, patting Steve’s shoulder before going back to his own room.

“Starts at eight, right?” Steve asks as he pulls on socks.

“Yup. Are we being fashionably late or on time?”

“We will end up fashionably late after I update the vlog,” Steve reminds him. He then looks around for his camera, which he has left on the nightstand. He tells the viewers where they are headed, even popping into Sam’s room to sneakily show what is wearing and also catching him humming, which is cute. Then, in the mirror Sam had occupied before, Steve quickly shows his outfit: a button up, short sleeved shirt, skinny jeans, and the boots.

“Ready?” Sam asks when he hears Steve stop talking to the camera.

“Let’s go!”

Steve is two drinks in within an hour and he is  _ really _ feeling it. He isn’t at a point where he’s worried about dropping his camera, but some of the footage may be embarrassing tomorrow when he edits. And he hasn’t even seen Bucky yet.

He has, however, met a number of new YouTubers. He has filmed each meeting and his camera has been almost continuously rolling. So when he turns and nearly runs into Bucky, he easily captures the moment.

“Hey,” he says, stumbling a single step back to look up.

“Steve!” Bucky greets and right away Steve can tell that he is drunk too, even more so than Steve is. Idly, Steve wonders how many drinks that took, considering how much larger than Steve Bucky is. He turns off his camera, realizing that most of the YouTubers here probably do not want to be captured on film in this condition and have it archived on the internet forever.

“Enjoying the party?” Steve tries to not visibly wince as he realizes how lame of a line it is.

“Yeah, yeah. Definitely,” Bucky answers but he seems to be out of it and his eyes are focused on Steve’s face but not his eyes and everything is a little confusing.

“What did you do at the convention today?” Steve asks. 

Bucky talks about a panel he went to, but Steve can barely understand via hearing  _ or _ lip reading but doesn’t want to ask Bucky to sign.

When he finishes talking, Bucky shifts on his feet, flitting his eyes somewhere past Steve’s shoulder and then back to the spot that is not his eyes. “Saw your vlog from yesterday.”

_ That _ Steve can recognize because it’s the words he has been dreading. Any talk of their vlogs will bring up the inevitable. His stomach churns. “Yeah?”

“Think you edited it a bit t’much.”

Steve isn’t sure what Bucky means by that. “Sorry, what?”

“C’mere,” Bucky says, putting a hand on Steve’s side and leading him through the crowd. Apparently, he thinks Steve’s questions arise from not being able to hear Bucky properly and not normal confusion. They stop where it is clearer and quieter by the pool hutch.

“You edited yourself in your vlog,” Bucky says.

“I still don’t understand, Buck,” Steve stresses, eyebrows knitting in confusion.

“In mine, they could tell.”

“Tell what?”

“That…we’re into each other.”

Oh.  _ Oh _ . Steve had been scared to show his feelings in his vlog, but now they are even  _ more _ apparent since he so tediously edited them out. He was too embarrassed by the one sided crush—

  1. Bucky had said “we” hadn’t he…



“Wait, what do you mean we?” Steve asks and he tries to keep the hopeful note out of his voice just in case. Bucky is drunk, he might not know what he is saying... 

“Yeah, we both have the hots.” There is really no mistaking what Bucky means by that. He continues as if Steve is not reevaluating everything he knew about Bucky. And life in general too to be honest. Because first off, since when is Bucky not  _ straight?  _ “And I didn’t know that you liked me until I was editing that crap and then I thought it was wishful thinking, but other people saw it too, Steve,  _ they saw it _ .”

Bucky starts to tilt then, and Steve doesn’t really know how to save Bucky from his drunken wilt. He makes a grab for Bucky’s arm that is flailing like he is looking for a railing and catches it beneath the elbow. Apparently, that is enough and Bucky is able to catch his body weight (thankfully since Steve couldn’t have) and arrange himself securely on his feet.

And then there is a moment where they just stand there, realizing how close together they are. Bucky’s eyes sluggishly fall to where Steve’s hand is still gripping his arm and then he looks up, licking his lips. His eyes fall back to somewhere on Steve’s face that is not his eyes and… _ he has been looking at Steve’s lips this whole time. _

Bucky surges, and Steve is barely ready. The kiss is like a rollercoaster coming over the first precipice, an unstoppable force raining down and Steve’s stomach flips like he is in free fall. When they meet, Bucky’s lips are rough, like the California sun has toasted them. Steve presses his own back into them, tilting his head to slot their lips more securely and bringing his arms to wrap around Bucky’s neck. He uses the leverage to bring Bucky to his level, to settle back on the heels of his feet from where he had rushed up to meet Bucky.

Steve thinks he could drown in this. When did a simple internet crush turn into this craze? Kissing Bucky feels a little bit too much like a little like he is dreaming and a little like time has stopped. Perhaps it has.

Bucky breaks the kiss, ducking away from Steve’s face to take what he must consider an embarrassing breath. Steve’s arms fall, like a deflating balloon. Bucky’s cheeks flush and his eyes only flicker to Steve’s face before falling to his shoes, a shy grin turning the edges of his lips. Steve wants to kiss them again.

Steve himself is out of breath too however, the asthma not combining well with prolonged kissing. He is still standing close enough to Bucky to feel the heat of his body and Steve tentatively reaches out to rest a hand on Bucky’s side.

“Steve, I—“ Bucky begins, but an ill look suddenly overtakes his features and he turns on his heel, heading inside.

“Bucky, wait!” Steve tries, but the nearby crowd is loud and Bucky doesn’t hear him. He tries to follow but people mill between them and Steve’s small stature causes its usual disadvantage and he loses sight of Bucky.

The rest of the night seems a haze as Steve finds Sam and tells him he is going to call it a night. He is not sure what propels him to leave the party after Bucky’s abrupt departure rather than drown the rejection in a few more drinks. He grabs one beverage on his way upstairs so maybe he is just doing both. Somewhere between the pool and the elevator he downs half of it and leaves the glass hastily atop the trashcan between the gleaming gold elevator doors.

The travel up his room is a washed out memory as the downed alcohol kicks in, and Steve finds that he can’t quite recall right now how he got to his door. Somehow, he is on the right floor though and he jams his room key into the slot and stumbles inside.

Steve kicks off his shoes by the door and strips off his skinny jeans three steps further in. He has to focus to unbutton his shirt as he sways at the foot of the bed, and then climbs in wearing only his boxers and face plants into the pillow, contacts in and everything.

“Steve?” Sam’s voice asks and Steve groans. “Steve!”

Slowly, Steve wakes up and realizes that he  _ hurts _ . His stomach feels uncomfortably upset, his head is pounding, and his eyes feel like someone rubbed sandpaper on them. The other realization he has is that Sam’s voice is muffled.

He sits up slowly and groans, turning his head away from the large window at the end of the room where sunlight assaults his senses.

“Steve!” Sam calls again and this time there is a knocking. “Wake up!”

Steve pulls himself off the bed, never having made it beneath the sheets, pulls on a pair of sweatpants he had left over the desk chair yesterday morning, and stumbles to the door that connects their rooms.

“You look like hell.”

“Good morning to you too.”

“Why are your eyes so red?”

“Slept with my contacts in.” Steve leaves Sam in the doorway then and goes to the bathroom. There, he pees a gallon and washes his hands before pressing his face close to the mirror to remove his contacts.

“Are my glasses out there?” Steve asks as he attempts to put in eye drops to ease the irritation, but it’s a challenge while being nearly legally blind.

Sam’s voice is suddenly right beside him. “Here.” Steve finishes with the eye drops and gratefully takes the glasses from the blob that is Sam.

“So much better,” he sighs.

“You weren’t that bad when you found me last night, what the fuck happened?” There is concern in Sam’s voice and Steve resents it somehow.

“Nothing, just had another drink on my way out of the party and overdid it a little.”

“A little? You’re hungover as fuck, aren’t you?”

“Not ‘as fuck’ maybe just ‘hungover.’” Steve knows it is a lie but fuck everything; he still can picture Bucky hurrying away from him through he crowd too clearly. And it sucks.

“Do you go this hard in New York?” Sam asks.

Steve pretends to think about it even though the answer should be a no, he only gets drunk enough to be hungover in the safety of his own living room with his own friends. “Sometimes.”

Sam gives him a very unconvinced look but backs out of the bathroom and heads back towards his own room.

“The convention starts in half an hour, you have a panel in two!” he reminds Steve and then disappears through the doorway.

“Thanks, Mom.”

Steve waits until the door has clicked shut behind Sam to go to his backpack and pull out the plastic pill container. Inside is an embarrassing array of every over the counter medication Steve could possibly need on this trip. He grabs two ibuprofen and dry swallows them before longingly looking back towards his bed.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” he mutters before turning away and digging through his suitcase for clothes suitable for talking about his life’s work in front of a couple hundred people.

Steve chooses on an outfit that is thankfully comfortable in this state and then turns back to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Sam meets him in the hallway, seemingly surprised by how quickly Steve cleaned himself up.

“Grab muffins and coffee from the continental downstairs?” Sam asks.

“Always pro coffee,” Steve reminds him and they head to the elevator together.

Steve nearly cries when he spills his coffee during the golf cart ride on the way to the convention center. Sam sighs and reminds him that they sell coffee inside.

It’s not until Sam is gone, being featured at a panel called “YouTube and Social Justice” that Steve realizes  _ he has to see Bucky today _ . He nearly gets out of the line to empty the muffin he’d ate into a toilet before taking a deep breathe through his nose to calm his nerves and his stomach.

But he still has to see Bucky and is so distracted that when he reaches the front of the line it takes him a moment to remember what he even waited in a ten minutes in line  _ for _ . After acquiring caffeine, he heads to the stage where Sam’s panel is and slips into a seat in the back to watch. He vlogs some of it, carefully zooming in on Sam from afar, taking so long to do so that he hopes it will have the comedic effect he wants.

When Sam’s panel finishes, Steve needs to head straight to his to begin preparation. He nervously begins to navigate his way across the center to the correct stage. Near the door backstage he is snatched up by security personnel that usher him inside as they spot viewers recognizing him. Thankfully, it is nothing compared to the crowds big YouTubers like Phil Coulson or Peter Parker pull when walking through the convention.

Suddenly, Steve finds himself amongst the comfy couches and amenities provided to the creators and despite the welcoming attempts, he feels uneasy. Mostly because across the space stands Bucky.

For a moment, Steve wonders if Bucky even remembers last night, if he was with it enough to consciously decide to run away after kissing Steve. But all thoughts on the topic are nullified by the look that overtakes Bucky’s face when he sees Steve enter. He definitely remembers.

There is an awkward moment when neither of them can tell if the other is going to approach and then Steve diverts his gaze, instead heading towards the tray of donuts he has no intention of even touching. His stomach could not handle much of  _ anything _ at the moment, let alone something so sugary. Plus the whole gluten intolerance is probably at a cap for a bit after the muffin.

Peter Quill arrives shortly after, needing a larger security escort than Steve did if the female screams from outside the room are an indication. He comes over to introduce himself to Steve, shaking his hand and complimenting his vlogging. They both take a moment to appear in the others vlog, ecstatic that they have finally met. Peter leaves after clapping Steve on the back and greets a female vlogger with green hair who has just entered the backstage area. They appear to know one another well as they hug, both vlogging.

“That’s Gamora, right?” a voice asks and Steve jumps. Bucky has snuck up (well, not really considering Steve’s hearing but still) and is standing almost shoulder-to-shoulder with him.

“Think so,” Steve responds quickly. He hates that he doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know what to say. He also doesn’t know why Bucky came up to  _ him _ when  _ he  _ was the one to run away last night.

They awkwardly stand for a minute before Bucky speaks again. “I wanted to talk to you…”

Steve waits.

“Last night, I’m sorry about my behavior. If my memory serves me right, you were a lot more sober than I was.”

“True until a point,” Steve replies, perhaps a bit sharply. But his feelings are hurt, okay?

“And I probably embarrassed myself,” Bucky continues, “by making an advance, and then having to run to the bathroom because my drunk ass couldn’t handle my alcohol--”

“Wait, what?” Steve turns sharply to look at Bucky. “That’s where you went?”

“Yeah, I was drunk as fuck.”

“You weren’t running away from me?”

Bucky just blinks at him for a moment. “Like, running running? Or like, the obvious ‘I wasn’t running in a direction that was towards you’?”

“Like, ditching me,” Steve says quietly.

“No,” Bucky says, eyes going wide. “No, no that’s not what happened at all! God no, um no I just had really bad timing...and um, needed a toilet...”

“Does that mean…?” Steve starts, but lets the sentence hang, scared for what the ending is.

“That I wanted to kiss you? Yeah. And if my memory is serving me right, you kissed me back?”

“If  _ my  _ memory serves me right, I quote ‘we have the hots’,” Steve teases.

“ _ I did not _ ,” Bucky says, aghast. He pauses for a moment to think. “Oh god, I did.”

“Oh yeah, you did,” Steve teases back, thrilled to watch Bucky’s cheeks tinge pink.

“I am so much  _ smoother _ than that though.”

“If you think so,” Steve says with an eye roll and a smile.

“Steve! Bucky!” a tech person suddenly calls, breaking into their conversation. “Time to head up!” She points to the small set of stairs to the side of the stage.

And suddenly Steve realizes that he now has to go on stage in front of a couple hundred people with his now  _ mutual  _ crush.  _ Oh no _ . Bucky smiles.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of Steve's time in L.A... turned into more of a character study than anything with plot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything about L.A. was written through research so if anything is really misrepresented, sorry! I've literally never been there but for god knows what reason am writing this fic anyways lol

The crowd is deafening as Steve, Bucky, Gamora, Clint, and Peter take the stage. It is not the main stage, but the next largest at the conference and entertains a daunting audience. Steve steels himself and looks at the crowd, surprised to see that there are few empty seats. Considering daily vloggers are never the most popular members of the YouTube community, he is excited AND nervous that they have pulled this large of a crowd.

Per the request of both Steve and Clint, there are interpreters for the deaf or hard of hearing—for both the crowd and them. Steve knows his hearing aids will have trouble picking up on the crowd’s questions, and Clint obviously needs full translation. The woman who will be signing for the two of them is to the side on the stage, where they can easily watch her translate without turning away from the audience. The moderator is speaking for them as they arrive, an older YouTuber named Phil who has a prematurely receding hairline and a classic smile. “Please welcome: Peter Quill! Gamora  Zen-Whober! Steve Rogers! Bucky Barnes! And Clint Barton!”

Steve’s legs feel like jelly as he follows Gamora across the stage to take his seat. There is a long table covered with a tablecloth for them to sit behind, with name placards, water glasses, and microphones at each.

When the applause for the five of them continues after they have sat down, Phil is forced to address the audience’s enthusiasm. “Alright settle down, settle down,” he tells them. Steve barely hears it though, the applause and cheers of excitement overwhelming for his hearing aids. Instead of looking at the crowd, he catches himself glancing at Bucky beside him. It probably isn’t the greatest idea considering the company they are in (and how many phone cameras are active in the audience), but he needs to  _ not _ focus on how many people are before them.

Once Phil has settled the crowd, he asks each of them to say the name of their channel, how long they have been vlogging for, and describe their content. Peter, the most popular vlogger of the five of them, has the most established aesthetic for his channel. He famously sets his vlogs to classic 80’s songs and adventures constantly, never staying in the same place for more than a week and having nowhere to  _ really  _ call home. Gamora’s is a bit tamer, but she too travels a lot more than Steve does. Because of this, he feels a little lame when he describes his channel as “capturing my everyday life in New York as a freelance photographer and creator.” The audience still applauds and even let off a few whoops for him. Bucky is next, describing his channel as a skater diary, and then Clint is signing to the interpreter, who speaks his words to the audience and describes the silent videos he produces.

“Now, this panel is a complete audience Q-and-A,” Phil begins, and hands immediately hit the air. Steve laughs, the enthusiasm of the audience catching him off guard. He loves it, though. Thinking about the audience, it is strange to consider how many people in the room watch his videos and know the intimacies of his life. Or … he glances at Bucky. Knew  _ a lot _ of the intimacies of his life, at least.

They work their way through the questions, easily filling the forty-five minutes of panel time. A majority of the inquiries go to Peter and Gamora to ask about the hardships of traveling or how they afforded the modern nomadic lifestyle. Some are addressed to all of them and they take turns each providing an answer. More than Steve expects go to Clint. One audience member is deaf herself and signs her question directly to Clint, who sits up excitedly and answers her, eyes alight.

The real shocker comes towards the end of the panel from a girl in the third row. Phil calls on her, so she stands and asks, “Is it hard to have personal relationships while displaying so much of your lives online?” Her eyes are fastened on Steve and Bucky, flicking between them as she speaks.

The cleverness of the question is astounding. Most fans are respectful enough to never ask something as personal as questions about a relationship to their faces (the comments on videos are a whole nother story) but she has just circumvented this unwritten rule to satisfy her own curiosity and it is absolutely  _ devious _ .

Seeing as only one of them on the panel is currently in a public relationship, Clint takes the question. With his channel, he is simply as transparent as possible. Natasha and him have been dating since before they started their channels and so it was never necessary for them to hide it.. He does, however, elaborate about assumptions made by fans based on the bits they see, and stresses that no matter how much they think they know, it will never be everything since vlogs are only so long and a day is much longer.

When he is done, Clint turns to Bucky, passing the question on. “Yeah, um… there is definitely some discontinuity with what fans see and what is real. I have never had a public relationship on my channel, so I am not sure how to answer this question but I have always just omitted that part of my life from the vlogs.”

Now Steve is up, shit. “Well, as some of you know I was in a relationship when I started my channel and I was as honest as I could be during that time. I guess it’s harder when it is not established because there is really no guidelines for how to introduce someone new in your life to your platform. Haven’t had to do it yet but I can hope someday.” He gives a self-deprecating laugh as punctuation, and tries to not feel his cheeks heating. Why did the fan have to be  _ traitorous _ . Steve also tries not to notice the murmurs that have broken out in the audience at his words but  _ c’mon, _ it’s not like he can assume he would never again openly date on his channel. His words don’t even have to refer to whatever is going on between Bucky and him—Steve hadn’t even meant for his answer to refer to them..

Peter and Gamora answer too, Peter stating how transparent he is with relationships and that his viewers are really a part of it too. Seeing as Steve, just off the top of his head, can easily picture two women he knows Peter to have hooked up with this seems true. Two more questions follow, thankfully neither on the same topic, and they leave the stage to a thunderous round of applause that Steve is sure will provide him with a headache. Backstage, Steve descends the stairs behind Bucky, who turns around at the bottom to address him.

“Damn,” is all he says, but Steve knows to what he is referring.

“Yeah… I guess viewers are really into… us?” It is awkward and weird, and Steve feels his cheeks filling with color. He doesn’t want to insinuate that they are together, it was one drunken kiss after all, but how else do you refer to two people being a concept together and he has to answer what Bucky said, he was obviously looking for a conversation on the topic and—

Bucky draws Steve in under one arm and gently hugs him against his chest.

“Guess they’re more observant than I gave them credit for,” he jokes.

“And more clever with their questions than I would have expected,” Steve supplies, trying not to freak out too much about being so close to Bucky. By the refreshments, Clint is eyeing them, watching as he breaks apart a lemon poppyseed muffin with his fingers and pops pieces into his mouth. Steve can’t decide if the action is mindless as he surveys the situation or is supposed to be his metaphorical popcorn as he observes Steve’s life unfolding.

Bucky releases Steve and he takes a small step back, breaking contact but staying close. “Do you have plans for tonight?” Bucky asks, and Steve thinks he feels his heart stop.

“No, not sure what I’ll be doing,” Steve says after a moment.

“Think I am going to suggest that some of us go out, get some food, see what happens,” Bucky rambles, sounding almost as unsure as Steve feels.

They end up getting food at The Cheesecake Factory which, yes, does involve everyone buying slices of over-expensive cheesecake and trying one another’s strange flavors. Steve shows every single one in his vlog because they all look so delicious.  Once Clint has stolen nearly half of everyone’s slices, they call the end of the dinner and head out of the restaurant.

“What do we want to do?” Sam loudly asks the group. Natasha, Clint, Bucky, and Steve are all walking behind him as he confidently strides backwards. “There is a whole night ahead of us with endless possibilities!”

Clint raises his eyebrows but does not comment.

“The majority of the group lives in L.A.,” Steve points out. “What would you guys suggest?” he asks, turning to Bucky walking beside him. He hasn’t missed the way he is walking close enough for their hands to brush and is trying to ignore it so his face and chest do not flush.

“Soul cycle,” Natasha says, deadpan. It takes Steve a moment to realize she is being satirical and snorts a halfhearted laugh out his nose.

“How about  _ not _ the new age bullshit?” Bucky tries. “There is a laser tag place a couple blocks over if we aren’t too tired, or there is the movie theater that serves alcohol to the seats. Um… we could grab an Uber and go to the free bit of Disney.”

Sam stops walking. “ _ Free _ Disney?”

“It’s just the shops, bars, and restaurants,” Natasha tells him and he visibly deflates. 

“Fuck capitalism,” Bucky murmurs beside Steve, who playfully bumps shoulders at the utterance.

Despite Bucky’s grievances over the nature of the Disney downtown, they head there to hit the bars and shops anyways. The atmosphere is incredible, Steve has never been to Disneyland or Disneyworld, and it is contagious. Music plays over the speakers and every worker is so friendly Steve could swear they were on drugs; no one who works customer service is that happy, no way.

They settle in at a club called Uva, where Natasha fights her way to the bar and orders a round of shots for everyone. Apparently because it is Disney, they card everyone, and they have to force their way between the barstools one at a time to show IDs. As Steve is shuffling back, Bucky is heading up and there is a prolonged moment where they are pressed completely flush to one another. Steve thinks his breath freezes in his throat. Bucky’s  _ definitely _ hitches.  _ Shit _ .

They are finally able to throw back their shots then, Steve grimacing like he is still a high schooler doing this in a basement. He has never been good at doing shots, sue him. Bucky and Sam go back to the bar to get more drinks while the others find a table to claim as their own.

They wile away hours at the bar, laughing, drinking, and (occasionally) dancing. Steve and Clint can’t hear half of what is being said, too dark to lip read and too loud for Steve to hear with his hearing aids, so they take to signing between themselves when the others are talking. Natasha catches on soon enough however, and then Bucky starts predominantly signing too instead of talking and Sam is left looking confused and worried.

“You’re not talking about  _ me _ , right? Just signing so Clint and you are fine?” Sam asks, leaning close to Steve’s ear to be heard.

Steve laughs and nods, then turns to Clint and pretends to tell some lies while aggressively commenting on Sam. The subject of the talk elbows him in the side and Steve laughs.

The night begins to blur together as Steve puts more alcohol into his small body. Meanwhile, Bucky powers on and he idly wonders exactly how much it took to get Bucky as drunk as he had been the night before. No one gets as drunk as they were then, too afraid of the hangovers they are barely recovered from. Right now, they are just thankful for their young bodies that can take the abuse.

When it is late enough that the town is only alive with their generation, Natasha announces she is “tapping out all of your sorry asses” and calls an Uber back to the hotel. Steve makes a mental note to pay her back in the morning for the car fee but knows in the back of his mind he won’t remember this car ride.

He doesn’t. Steve resents how easily he browns and blacks out as Sam stands in his doorway in the morning and gives him a full talking to about how much he “...doesn’t want to be in the back of a Kia Soul while Steve is sucking face with his new man!”

“I’m sorry, Sam,” Steve apologizes as he towels his hair, looking at Sam upside down as he tips over to really run the white hotel towel through it.

“I am happy for you man but lord I did not see that coming.”

“Well first off, you’re terrible at recognizing flirting. Remember when we met?”

“Steve, we agreed we would never speak of this again.”

“Just checking,” Steve says with a smile.

“What is number two?” Sam asks, a note of hesitancy in his voice.

“Oh, I was going to ask… who the  _ hell _ uses the term ‘sucking face’?”

“Ya know what, your sassy ass can fly home by yourself,” Sam informs him as he turns and heads back into his own hotel room.

“You know you love me!” Steve calls after him.

“To the moon and back!”

 

The last day of VidCon has some of the most exciting panels and performances. Steve and Sam hit up as many as possible, crossing paths with Natasha, Tony, Thor, and Peter Parker (definitely not to be confused with Peter Quill), all at different intervals. Steve does not allow himself to recognize that the disappointment in his chest stems from not seeing Bucky by coincidence.

When they return to the hotel before dinner, Steve takes it upon himself to see Bucky (since it didn’t happen by coincidence).

_ Hey, _ he texts.  _ Didn’t see you at the convention center today. What are you doing later? _

Bucky’s answer arrives just minutes later as Steve is settling in to edit his vlog from yesterday (“necking” to be edited out if it somehow was filmed at all).

_ No plans yet, doing work stuff right now though. _

_ Same, I’ll text you when I’m done and see what’s up? _

_ Sounds good! _

“You’re smiling at your phone,” Sam informs him as he enters Steve’s room and plops onto the opposite bed. He has his laptop too, ready to edit the collab he and Steve had filmed the day before.

They both tuck into the editing, and Steve tries to  _ not _ think about all the comments he will receive pertaining to Bucky and him. Alas, he fails.

A little over two and a half hours later, they both have upload progress bars on their screens and are starving. They end up ordering in room service as they take care of other YouTuber business (i.e. massive amounts of emails and social media).

Then finally,  _ finally _ they have taken care of business, and Steve texts Bucky.

_ You up to anything? _

Bucky’s reply is nearly immediate.  _ Was about to skate with Clint, meet us on the top floor of the parking garage? _

“Up for skateboarding?” Steve asks, turning to Sam.

“Why, is Bucky?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Steve laughs as he stands to put his shoes on and grab his penny board. Sam unquestionably goes back to his room to do the same.

Fifteen minutes later, they are both pushing open the doors of the stairwell to enter the late afternoon sunshine. Steve’s penny board hits the pavement with a  _ clack, _ and he pushes off the asphalt to roll towards the figures on the far side of the garage level.

“No fair, I don’t have a board!” Sam whines as he half jogs to keep up.

“Steve!” Bucky crows, catching their approach. He opens his arm for Steve to skate right into them. Bucky gives Steve a tight, quick hug before releasing him and grabbing his vlogging camera off the ground. “Look who’s joined us!” Bucky says, delighted, as he turns the camera to show Steve and Sam.

“Oh yeah, you know me, skater for lyfe!” Sam says.

Behind Bucky, Clint pulls a move, flipping the skateboard under his feet, and everyone’s attention is averted by the resounding  _ clack _ . Clint slides up beside Bucky and quickly signs a hello, then asks Steve if he can film Clint skating.

“Of course,” Steve tells Clint, and they head off to one side of the parking garage so Clint can use the wheel stops to showcase some “moves”. Steve happily films, crouching low for a shot so as to aid the artsier feel of Clint’s vlogs. After they have gotten several takes of him going over the wheel stops, Clint takes back the camera and thanks Steve.

When they return to the group, it has doubled. Natasha has arrived, accompanied by Maria.

Steve has a sneaky suspicion, especially considering the athletic prowess of both women, that they both know how to skate too. Bucky is the seasoned pro among them, but Steve would bet good money Natasha knows her way around a board and Maria is too athletic not to at least be able to pick it up on the spot, if she doesn’t already know.

“Want a go?” Steve asks, motioning to his skateboard. The smirk that breaks out on Natasha’s face lets him know she was hoping he would ask. Steve makes sure to film it as he hands her the penny board and she pushes off from the pavement. Natasha rolls around the parking lot, weaving between some of the wheel stops and doing a wide turn at the end of the building, leaning into it, to come back their way. By the time she is sailing past them to take off the other direction, Steve is crouched and capturing her ride at the best possible angle.

“Click bait title: ‘Hot Skater Girl’,” Bucky jokes from beside Steve.

“If I get any footage of you, it’ll be ‘Hot Guy’,” Steve replies smoothly. Wow, he is even impressed with himself for that one.

Bucky, the self assured  _ asshole _ he is, takes off on his skateboard too then, glancing over his shoulder at Steve and fucking  _ winking _ as he follows after Natasha. Steve just watches, camera still running as he holds it to film but not really focusing the lens on the subjects of the frame; he is a little too astounded that someone as smooth as that is interested in him. And also oddly still impressed with himself for being smooth in return.

“Guess you’ll have to put some music on instead of that audio,” Sam says from behind and Steve laughs. Yeah, he definitely will.

They spend several hours on the roof, skating and joking. Bucky teaches Steve how to do a simple kick flip on his penny board. Teaching like this requires intimacy, and Steve thinks he messes up so often because Bucky’s proximity is making his nerves go crazy. When no one has their cameras out, Bucky even sneaks a kiss from Steve, just a quick peck. Steve just about melts into the sunshine spilling over the rooftop lot.

Eventually, Steve picks up the trick and Bucky cheers as he executes it for the first time, Clint happily filming it for him. There is a small round of applause and Steve can feel himself flushing from his cheeks down through his chest. He gives his board back to Natasha then and Maria borrows Clint’s for the two of them to sail around the rooftop. The boys settle onto the pavement to watch, Steve sitting on one of the wheel stops to be eye level with Bucky instead of a head shorter. He pretends he doesn’t notice how much Bucky is also leant back on his elbows for this to be true.

“Your plane doesn’t leave for a few days, right?” Bucky asks, eyes watching the girls. But Steve knows the question is for him.

“I have one more full day, and a half. Plane leaves at two-fifteen.”

“I can show you around L.A.,” Bucky tells him, then glances down. “I mean… if you’d like.”

Bucky looks at Steve then and Steve can see it in his face, how much he wants to spend as much time with him as possible. The look pulls Steve in, makes him want to be closer to Bucky, to give him anything he could ever want.  _ Fuck _ , he is in deep.

“Yeah, of course,” Steve tells him. “That’d be awesome!”

Steve doesn’t miss the flash of relief that goes across Bucky’s features. “Sweet, sweet,” he says, trying to bring back his “skater boy” ease.

They spend another fifteen minutes on the parking garage before demands for dinner and ice cream spew from Clint and Sam. Everyone happily agrees that they should get food and before Steve knows it, four more YouTubers have joined them and they are headed to a vegan joint a couple blocks down. Steve could care less where they are going however, so long as they are with Bucky.

When they return to the hotel later that night, they join the party hosted by VidCon to celebrate the end of the convention. However, some YouTubers have left the convention already, headed home to get back to business. Somehow, a hobby has turned into a horribly demanding, overly full-time career for some creators and it scares Steve that he may also be like that someday.

 They don’t last long at the party, especially considering how social they have been during the week. Steve just wants to get into bed and sleep for several days but the rational side of him knows he has little time left with Bucky before he goes home. When Sam, Tony, and Maria head to the elevators, Steve pulls Bucky aside to talk.

“Would you… do you want to come to my room?”  Steve asks him.

Bucky is silent for a moment.

“No, no… Not like that, that’s not what I meant,” Steve quickly clarifies. “I just meant… Do you want to hang out for a bit?”

“Yeah,” Bucky tells him. “I’d really like that.”

Steve is glad then that Sam has already headed up. He would prefer that no one know this time they are about to spend together, to be sure that it doesn’t end up online somehow. They ride the elevator together, silent, but communicating between subtle shoulder bumps and shy smiles.

At Steve’s room, he enters first and checks that the door between Sam and his room is closed. He tries to do it inconspicuously, so that Bucky doesn’t think he is trying to hide, but he isn’t sure if he succeeds.

When he returns his attention to his own room, Bucky is toeing off his shoes by the door. Steve is caught for a moment, his mind beautifully blank as he watches Bucky.

“What?” Bucky asks when he catches Steve staring.

“Nothing,” Steve murmurs, moving towards Bucky. “Just… happy you’re here.”

Bucky opens his arms and Steve tucks himself into them, pressing up against Bucky’s chest and letting the taller boy rest his chin on Steve’s head. It is infatuating to Steve how easily they have already fallen into this tactile pattern; he recognizes when Bucky is going to open his arms in invitation now before he even lifts them. Oh how easily they have come together.

When Bucky releases him, after a long lasting embrace, Steve takes him by the hand and leads him further into the room. “Make yourself at home,” he tells Bucky as he removes a jacket and his laptop from the one bed, tossing both onto the desk.

Bucky snags Steve around the waist as he moves, pulling him away from tidying more, and brings him onto the mattress as he flops down. Steve lets out a tiny yelp as they do so, caught off guard. Bucky keeps a tight hold until the springs settle, and then lets Steve flop to his side, but staying close.

As if they both knew exactly where this was headed, they lean in at the same time and their lips meet, a sudden but lasting kiss as their mouths meld. So much for the talking Steve had mentioned... Bucky sucks in a deep breath through his nose as he deepens it, tilting his head for a different angle and bringing a hand up to press against Steve’s bird-boned ribs.

They kiss for a long time, a languid experience punctuated with occasional giggles and many deep breaths. Steve’s mind blanks, becomes focused solely on the actions of his body as he kisses and feels and adores Bucky. Somewhere along the way, he ends up straddling Bucky’s thighs, perched in his lap with nearly every line of their bodies from the waist up pressed together. Subtly, he is rocking his hips into Bucky and suddenly it clicks how heated things have become.

“Oh shit,” Steve sighs, pulling away. He waits a moment before slipping off of Bucky and back onto the mattress beside him, hoping he will not interpret the action as a rejection. “Sorry, let’s just… cool down maybe.”

“Yeah, okay yeah,” Bucky says mindlessly, lips sitting parted and swollen as he registers the present. “Sorry yeah Steve, whatever you want.”

“Let’s just—let’s talk,” Steve suggests. He hadn’t realized how heavily he is breathing but he now notices his chest rising and falling rapidly, and can feel the slight burn in his lungs.

“You good?” Bucky asks, and there is a smile in his voice that Steve wants to resent, but his chest is still rising and falling embarrassingly deeply, and he probably deserves the teasing.

“I have asthma!” Steve says back, and a laugh even breaks into his voice then. “You asshole,” he tacks on for good measure.

Bucky lays back and rolls onto his side, facing Steve. “So…are you going to have an asthma attack anytime you get real turned on?”

Steve immediately covers his face. “Literally please talk about anything else.”

Bucky laughs, something like a chortle that sits in his throat and makes Steve feel butterflies. “Okay, okay. What do you want to do tomorrow?”

Steve takes a moment to think (and to let his face go back to a normal color). “I want…I want to see your life.” He uncovers his face and turns towards Bucky.

Bucky looks taken aback for a moment by Steve’s answer and he is afraid he was too forward but then Bucky smiles, a shy little upturn of his lips that simply alludes to happiness. “Okay, Steve. I can try that.”

“Sam’s going to be bored,” Steve jokes, having to break the heaviness he created in the atmosphere. God is he bad at this.

“Sam can deal with it,” Bucky says. And then he leans down to press a gentle kiss to Steve’s shoulder and Steve about thinks he could die happily. “If you’re going to see my life tomorrow though,” Bucky continues, “then I want to hear about yours tonight.”

“Like what?” Steve asks. Bucky already watches his vlogs, as proven multiple times, and he doesn’t know what else to say.

“Well, tell me the stuff I don’t know. You are more private than I think you let your audience realize,” Bucky says. “Like…what was your childhood like?”

So Steve tells him. He tells him how his dad died before he was born, while his mom was pregnant. How then his mom died during his first year of college, when he had been enrolled in a four-year university. How he had dropped out for what was supposed to be a semester and then never returned. Instead he started the photography program from which he had graduated and then began his career. How he was thankful his landlady let him stay in his family’s apartment for several years, but how he eventually had to leave because it reminded him too much of his mom. How now he lives in another part of Brooklyn and loves it more than he ever thought he would; how he loves seeing all the neighbors dogs and all the little, pretentious coffee shops, the graffiti murals, how he adores the little hobby shop three blocks over that he almost never vlogs in because he gets so distracted by all the weird as fuck greeting cards.

And Bucky, in turn, tells him about his life. He may see it tomorrow, but there are some things you can’t perceive by sight and Steve is glad to hear them. He had known that Bucky had grown up in New York too, had actually began his vlogging career there before moving, but Steve had not known about his channel at that time. Bucky’s parents are divorced, his mom now in Florida and retired and his dad doing business in Salt Lake City. His little sister lives in Denver and he misses her every single day. He quietly will admit that he misses the family dog even more (she lives with his dad). He tells Steve about his childhood too, how he broke his arm the first time he tried to skateboard and the bone broke the skin and he scared his mother half to death, but as soon as the cast came off he tried again; how he smoked a shit ton of cigarettes and pot during his last few years of high school before quitting it all and deciding to be healthier, as much as he could; how moving to L.A. was the scariest day of his life.

And as they talk, they move closer together and rearrange in accordance to one another, like planets shifting and orbiting one another. Slowly, they intertwine like trees growing in a forest too close together, Bucky’s arm laying across Steve’s waist as he presses against Bucky’s front as he lies on his side, faces close as they murmur into the dimly lit room.

As the night hours turn into those of the morning, Steve asks his burning question. “So, you’re not out online,” he says slowly, paying close attention to how Bucky reacts (so far, so good it seems). “And I was just kinda wondering…how you identify.”

Bucky doesn’t answer right away and Steve worries he said something wrong.

“I mean, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, of course you don’t, I—“

“No, it’s fine. It’s just, I’m not really sure how to answer.”

Steve waits, because it definitely feels like more is coming, like the scent of rain on the wind.

“I didn’t realize until I was living in L.A. that I wasn’t straight,” Bucky finally says. “I was twenty-two and thinking I was more or less a grown-ass man and having an identity crisis. And now it hasn’t been long but I still don’t know…for sure.”

Bucky shifts against Steve, a nervous need to move, and Steve puts a hand on Bucky’s arm to calm him.

“That’s fine, so long as you’re being you, then who cares?”

He listens to Bucky suck in a breath before responding. “I mean, I haven’t been with a guy before…like,  _ seriously  _ been with one. Never dated a guy. And if that is going to be an issue—“

“It’s not,” Steve assures him because not only does he not give a shit, but there is also no way in hell he is letting Bucky try to erase his own sexuality.

“Okay, ‘cause like, there was this one guy, but he called it off as soon as he found out he would’ve been my first boyfriend, and… I just really don’t want a repeat.”

“There will be absolutely  _ zero _ repeats,” Steve assures him. Meanwhile, a little voice in the back of his head is screaming, because Bucky just insinuated that they  _ are _ going to date and Steve doesn’t know if he is ready for long distance, but damn if he won’t try it.

Bucky, in response to Steve, shifts and presses his face into the crook of Steve’s neck and shoulder. Steve can feel his warm breath hitting his skin and tries to keep his own even.

“Thank you,” Bucky murmurs into his skin. Steve pulls his hand from between their bodies to crook his elbow and stroke along Bucky’s side, skin warm through his thin shirt. They stay like that for a while, wrapped closed and somewhat entangled atop the blankets.

“We should probably sleep,” Bucky says finally, pulling back.

“Yeah, it’s nearly four in the morning. ‘Spose we should,” Steve replies.

They untangle themselves and both of them briefly face the dilemma of wearing jeans but not wanting to change, staring down at their own legs and glancing at the bed earnestly.

“Let’s just…” Bucky trails off, motioning like he is going to take his pants off.

“I’m good with only boxers if you are,” Steve says. Bucky nods.

They both hesitate anyways however, and a nervous laugh parts Bucky’s lips. Steve is the one who breaks the ice, gets off the bed, and pulls off his jeans, kicking them off his feet and then moving to the bathroom. There, he quickly takes out his contacts and returns. While he is gone, Bucky strips off his jeans as well and is waiting for him in a pair of black boxer briefs.

Then they climb into the bed together, settling into the soft mattress and tucking their feet beneath the covers in a way that is a little awkward and a little beautiful. Steve takes out his hearing aids and sets them on the nightstand and then there is just a moment when neither is sure how this is going to go (Do they cuddle? Do they not? How much contact is okay?). But then, Bucky scoots up close to Steve and nudges his shoulder to indicate he will be the big spoon and Steve should flip. He does so and finds himself encased in warm arms. Steve feels his body relax, feeling content, and lets himself begin to slip into sleep. Behind him, Bucky does the same.

 

“Steve, you awake?!”

Steve’s mind takes a long time to really register the words, pulling itself from an encompassing dream. Sam’s voice sounds again, a background noise to the action, before Steve recognizes it as real life and snaps awake. He can barely hear Sam without his hearing aids in but he knows that Sam is actually calling quite loudly. Steve also slowly registers the hand shaking his shoulder, Bucky alerting him to Sam’s call.

“Steve, we have to check out in an hour!”

“Okay, I’m packing now!” he calls back, sure he has not fooled Sam, but allowing the white lie all the same. Beside him, Bucky’s eyes are still closed but he’s definitely awake, seeing as he is moving.

Steve quickly puts his hearing aids back in then fully extracts himself from Bucky and the bedding. Bucky shifts and his eyes flutter open.

“Good morning,” Steve tells him as Bucky rubs his right eye, tired.

“Same to you.” Steve is already heading to the bathroom, needing his glasses that he left in there last night. He feels blind without them and is lucky he can tell where Bucky’s face is.

When Steve returns, Bucky is fully dressed again. He swaps with Steve, needing the bathroom and Steve is left to consider the state of the room and how he is going to successfully pack in less than an hour.

Steve faintly hears the toilet flush and the sink run and then Bucky is hugging him from behind. “I’ll get out of your hair, let you pack,” Bucky says into the back of Steve’s neck as he nuzzles into it. Steve’s stomach does some flips before he responds.

“I’ll text you later to figure out what we are going to do?” Steve wants to make sure he is still going to get to spend his day with Bucky.

“Of course.”

Steve turns to kiss him goodbye, but Bucky pulls back. “Sorry, but morning breath. It’s a thing with me.”

Steve resists the urge to chuckle at that, but nods his understanding. “Okay, later,” he promises.

Bucky tucks Steve under his chin for a moment in a tight embrace and then heads for the door. “See you later!” The door click shuts quietly behind Bucky and Steve is left to hurriedly begin folding clothes and gathering charging cords from the power strip on the desk.

He almost forgets to change his own clothes after sleeping in them, and only puts on a clean t-shirt at the last minute and digs out a pair of socks from his nearly packed suitcase. On the TV stand, his camera sits, off, and he only begins vlogging the day after he is fully packed.

“Woke up late,” he tells the vlog, “And Sam and I are about to check out. We are in L.A. for a bit more time though, just switching locations.”

“I can hear you vlogging!” Sam calls and Steve opens the door between their rooms.

“What else would I be doing?” Steve says rhetorically. He has his suitcase upright by the front door and his backpack is stuffed with his cameras and laptop, bursting at the seams but somehow zipped despite hurriedly stuffing the items inside. Somehow, he is ready to leave.

“Let’s go then,” Sam tells him.

Steve texts Bucky after they have arrived at their new hotel, a chain centrally located as close to Venice Beach as they could find, even if the price is outrageous (Sam had murmured “Treat yo self” on the phone with Steve while booking the room online). It is nice, there are even bellmen hovering and hoping they will let them take their suitcases but considering they each only have a backpack and a suitcase they ignore the workers.

Bucky answers the message while they are in the elevator on the way to their room (this time shared) and Steve automatically smiles at his phone while he replies. 

“Bucky?” Sam guesses.

“Bucky,” Steve says.

They dump their luggage and head back out immediately, just stopping in the little café off the lobby for breakfast on the go. Steve has his entire backpack with him, planning on editing later, perhaps in a coffee shop or café. Bucky still has to edit his vlog from yesterday too, and they have planned over text to fit it into their day.

Bucky tells them the best way to get to Venice Beach. Clint and Natasha are going to meet them there too.

Steve spots Bucky quickly, standing a short distance from the crowd around the Venice skate park. Steve feels a little bit like he is in a dream, the pathway along the beach and the attractions there, too, seem almost fictitious; he has only ever seen them in vlogs and movies. Even if he is a vlogger, other creators that live lives different from his still don’t always seem real.

Steve vlogs as he approaches and he notices that Bucky is doing the same. One of his feet is balanced on his skateboard, rolling it gently forward and backward as he films.

“So, here’s the plan,” he says as soon as Steve and Sam draw close enough to hear. “I show off some sick moves, then we mess around with Clint’s drone because he promised he would bring it today. And then we get coffee.”

“Clint is bringing his drone?!” Sam says, excited. Steve feels the same, he has never gotten to use a drone before and hopes today is the day.

“Glad Clint stole the spotlight but yeah,” Bucky laughs.

“Speak of the devil,” Steve says, spotting Clint and Natasha approaching from the other direction. Clint is carrying a large case, like a hard-sided suitcase, which must be the drone.

Bucky finally gets both feet on his skateboard, and pushes off the pavement to go skate circles around Clint and Natasha. Clint films it the best he can while carrying the case, but it all looks very difficult and Steve can’t help but smile when Natasha takes initiative and pretends to push Bucky off his board. She has her own penny board under her arm, a fake wood one with more squared edges that looks aesthetic as fuck and Steve rolls his eyes because  _ of course _ she has the prettiest penny board he has ever seen, she has the prettiest  _ everything _ he has ever seen. Besides Bucky.

When Bucky rolls back their way, he slows for a moment to announce, “I’m going in!” and heads for the skate park. There is quite the crowd around the edge, elbows on the fence and cameras at the ready. Inside the park, there are a number of skaters in the bowl, the mid-afternoon seeming a prime time of the day for park traffic.

Steve follows on foot, despite the penny board tucked under his arm, and films Bucky as he slips off the edge of the bowl and begins to skate. It’s a strange culture, the way people glom around the skate park and watch the dozen or so people zip around the bowl. Bucky doesn’t quite fit in, seeing as he isn’t wearing weed socks or a backwards snapback, but it is obvious that he is in his element. The movement is faster than Steve expected, the board somehow sailing over the mounds and divots of the park seeming in fast forward. Bucky bends his knees to accommodate each incline change, lowering into each downward slope. When he nears the edge by Steve, he does a quick kick flip before zooming off.

Steve’s camera tracks Bucky around the park, their small group cheering whenever he lands a trick. After a few more minutes, Clint sets down the drone, asks Natasha to keep an eye on it, and unstraps his skateboard from the front of his backpack. He jogs around the fence to enter the skate park and throws down his board too, excited to skate.

“He usually doesn’t with this many people,” Natasha remarks. She has Bucky’s camera and is filming for his daily vlog. “He worries he won’t know if someone is close behind him.”       

When Bucky notices that Clint has entered the park, they skate together, going around the bowl and up one of the sides to land jumps before bypassing the grind obstacles on the other side, closer to the water. Steve switches cameras, pulling out one of his favorite ones for still shots and adjusts the settings accordingly for the light and action. The shutter clicks away as he captures Clint and Bucky zooming around the park. When the two skaters call it quits and begin coming back around the fence to their friends, Steve takes a moment to look at the photos and finds himself happy with his work.

Clint and Bucky are in the midst of discussing some trick another kid in the park had done, hands flying with words Steve doesn’t actually know in ASL. It’s weird to be on the outside of the language for once, but skating terminology is not something he had ever learned. Now, he wants to.

“We should head down the beach,” Natasha tells them. “If we want to launch the drone, it should be emptier.”

Clint agrees and he hefts the case back into his arms as they leave the skate park, Bucky and Sam in the lead. Natasha tosses down her penny board and cruises ahead, weaving back and forth on the smooth path through the sand and palm trees.

They find a more secluded spot to launch the drone from, a little pavement off to the side with a bench tucked between two palm trees. Clint sets down the case and begins to set up the drone. Steve sits on the bench and watches while Sam and Bucky are chatting, enthralled with the process. He hopes he can get a drone one day soon, but they are  _ expensive _ .

“Clint is setting up his drone, gonna let me do a test fly,” Steve tells his vlog. “Hopefully I can manage to get a few good clips to put in here.”

Clint turns and signs so Steve interprets for his viewers. “It’s the DJI Phantom 4 and he will kill me if I crash it because it costs more than my shitty apartment for a month.”

When everything is finally ready, Clint explains to Steve how the controller works (his phone hooks up to it as the screen to know what the drone is filming and Steve thinks that is the  _ coolest _ thing) and then they’re off.

Controlling the drone is harder than he expects and he tries to not care that Bucky is filming his struggle. Sam is watching the phone screen over his shoulder and unsuccessfully trying not to drool over the tech.

“I don’t even have a use for it but I want one of these,” he tells Steve.

“You can have a go next, wait your turn.”

Clint glares daggers at Steve when he gets too close to a palm tree and Steve has the drone go higher so the only thing to worry about is birds.

“That’s it over there, right?” Bucky asks, pointing to a speck in the air down the beach.

“Yup, just getting the shots of the seagulls and sunbathers,” Steve jokes, still looking down at the controller.

The sound of skateboard wheels hits his ears and he looks up to see that Bucky and Nat have taken off on their respective boards, following the path down the beach towards the drone. When they get closer, Steve pivots the camera to catch sight of them and follows them with the drone as they carry on down the path. From behind, he is able to track their progress and get some decent footage of their course.

“That’s going to be sweet for your vlog,” Sam tells him. Clint stops staring at his drone in the distance and moves in front of Steve, watching the phone screen upside down as he navigates the UFO along.

When Bucky and Natasha have traveled out of range for the drone remote, Steve stops the pursuit and brings it back. Sam calls Natasha to let them know to turn around in case they haven’t seen the drone return.

Landing the drone is the hardest part and when Steve can’t navigate it to the ground he hands off the remote to Clint. He professionally lands it with ease. Then they change the battery and Sam flies it. The film this time is going to be for Clint’s vlog, to show that he let them use the drone, and so Clint and Steve run down to the water, kicking off their shoes as the drone floats overhead, and wade into the waves. They get some weird looks, especially considering that at this time the beach is covered in sunbathers in  _ actual _ beach gear but they don’t care. Sam dares to fly the drone out over the water and film a sweeping shot of it zooming back towards land, over Steve and Clint, and pan up to show L.A. sweeping across the landscape. Clint makes little noises of anxiety the whole time the drone is over the water but, overall, it is a success.

When the drone is back above the beach, Steve and Clint flop into the sand beside one another. There are footsteps a moment later and Bucky plops down beside Steve, looking up and waving to the drone. Sam spins it, capturing a shot of their rotating selves as they relax for a moment. Natasha slides into the frame a moment later, sitting behind Clint as he settles back between her legs with his elbows around her knees.

Sam flies the drone out towards the water again and gets a shot of them from afar, a little cluster on the beach to zoom in on, himself on the background as he stands back by the bench, intently bent over the controller. Then Sam flies the drone back towards himself and Clint scrambles out of the sand, intent on helping Sam land his precious drone.

The other three stand up too, brushing the sand off of their clothes. Steve’s wet feet have sand stuck all over them, so he carries his shoes in his hand. He will have to wait to put them back on. They begin to trudge back up the beach but Steve is embarrassingly out of breath. Walking through thick sand is hard work,  _ okay _ !

“So, how was your first dip in the Pacific?” Bucky asks from beside him. His camera is on, capturing it for the vlog.

“A little cold,” Steve says, and he can’t help the smile that is blooming on his face as he gets closer to Bucky, trudging up the sand back with his shoes and socks hanging from his hand.

“Enjoying playing tourist?”

“Definitely, L.A. is pretty cool.”

The mock interview continues until they get back to the bench. Clint is just zipping up the drone case and Natasha has produced a water bottle from her backpack.

“I need an Instagram post for today,” Natasha says she caps the bottle. “Gotta get the O-O-T-D posted.”

“I can take one for you,” Steve tells her. “Want it on your phone or my camera?”

“Phone is fine, thank you,” she says, handing over her device. “Can we do the palm trees in the background?”

Thus ensues a thirty-minute photo shoot, everyone realizing that they need pictures for their social media. Steve does the majority of the shooting, seeing as photography  _ is  _ his career, but Bucky insists on getting him in a few too. They take one sitting on the bench with the beach in the background, their feet on skateboards as they relax into the wood. Bucky looks off to the side, gazing into the palm trees and Steve looks into the camera. Before he has even seen what Clint captured, he is ninety nine percent sure he will be posting it. Steve takes some on his nice camera and gets one of Clint and Natasha out in the sand, settled in like they had been during the drone flight, that he hopes they love as much as he does.

“What next?” Sam asks after they have all packed up their things and brushed sand off, again. “What other first times do we have?”

“OMG what if I name my vlog today ‘My First Time’?” Steve asks, excited. “That’s some damn stupid click bait and I love it.”

“As long as I get commission,” Sam jokes.

“Speaking of vlogs,” Bucky says. “Coffee and edit?”

“Is that your version of Netflix and chill?” Clint asks.

“Not unless anyone is into—“ Bucky has to cut himself off because he doesn’t know how to sign voyeurism and Steve is both uncomfortable and  _ very _ amused. Bucky starts spelling it and Clint starts laughing and Sam takes a minute too long to catch on and then he blushes so hard that Steve can tell despite his dark skin.

“There aren’t any children around, right?” Sam asks.

“Doesn’t matter unless they know sign language,” Natasha says.

“Okay but… coffee,” Steve reminds.

“You’re a caffeine  _ fiend _ ,” Sam says.

They start walking then, following as Bucky begins to lead the way. Steve doesn’t put his shoes back on until the sand has fallen off his feet from padding on the pavement. He walks beside Bucky, who leans in conspiratorially.

“You probably wouldn’t need so much coffee if you’d slept last night,” Bucky says, teasing.

“Whose fault is that?” Steve jokes, bumping Bucky’s arm with his shoulder. He is on Bucky’s left and the tattoos are close to him, the ink standing out on Bucky’s sunned skin. He wants to ask what they mean, enthralled with the artistry, but he doesn’t know if now is the time. Steve is sweating a little more after his realization of proximity and he doesn’t know if he even wants to admit to himself how attractive he finds Bucky’s tattoos.

They grab a table outside at the coffee shop and set down their things before heading inside to place their orders. Outside, a woman their age sits with her dog lying at her feet. It jumps up when Steve walks past, straining to the end of its leash to sniff his knee. Luckily, his vlog camera was already up and running so he tilts it down and immediately begins filming the dog.

“Is it okay if he ends up on the internet?” Steve asks. The woman laughs, which Steve takes as a yes. “Is it okay to pet him?”

She answers with a another yes and Steve stoops to pet the dog. He thinks it’s a mixed breed, based on the simple brown fur and lack of distinguished characteristics. It’s a dog that would be poster child for a shelter, or cast as the “mutt” in a film. He is adorable.

Bucky stops and crouches next to Steve as the others go inside, running his hand down the dog’s back as Steve scratches his ears.

“What’s his name?”

“Bowie.”

“That is a damn good name, isn’t it Bowie?” Bucky says, speaking to the dog now.

“I’ve always wanted a dog,” Steve muses. “Just never had a pet-friendly apartment.”

“Same, it’s harder to find them than you’d think,” Bucky says.

“I live up in North Hollywood and my whole building allows pets,” the owner tells them.

“Do you have breed restrictions?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah, no huskies or hounds because of howling and no pits, rottweilers, or chow chows.”

“Damn, I really want to rescue a pit mix.”

Steve just listens, enthralled with listening to Bucky talk about dogs. For some reason, he hadn’t pegged Bucky as an animal person but that is proving itself false. Steve would not consider himself overtly an animal lover, but he does love dogs considering they are the only non-caged pets he isn’t allergic to. He is happy to have found this small connection between them.

Bucky stands up then, leaving the woman and her dog, and they head inside.

“What kind of dog would you get if you could?” Bucky asks as they join the end of the line. Sam, Natasha, and Clint are two people ahead now, since they stopped to pet the dog.

“I’m not sure, I just know it would have to be small since I couldn’t take it on super long walks,” Steve tells him. “Maybe a dachshund, or some little terrier.”

Bucky nods, like this is vital information he is taking in. They fall silent then as they both consider the menu.

Once outside again and with coffee, everyone opens their laptops. It is perhaps the most millennial situation Steve has ever been in, sitting at a slightly pretentious coffee shop with such a populous laptop club in action, but he adores it a little. The table is covered in coasters and macbooks as everyone checks emails, edits, and updates social media. Sam, being the healthiest member of the group, has gone for some sort of green smoothie rather than coffee and Steve can’t help but laugh when he sets his huge coffee beside it. “Two kinds of people,” he says to the vlog before panning up to capture Sam’s disapproving look.

It takes a couple hours for everyone to be ready to go, Sam, Steve, and Bucky taking the longest since they are editing vlogs. Under the table, Steve and Bucky sit with their feet touching, bumping occasionally as Bucky’s bounce to the beat of the music he is splicing his vlog footage along to. He has a huge pair of Beats headphones on, focused on his computer. Steve can’t help but do a pan of the table in order to capture Bucky without being  _ too _ obvious. The uploads are thankfully quick, the coffee shop being smart enough to have the fastest Wi-Fi possible, and they are able to head out.

It is getting towards dinnertime and they decide to head to Natasha and Clint’s apartment, where they plan to spend the rest of the night. Natasha calls an Uber for them to get there, the walk from Venice to Fairfax being too far. They wait just a few minutes for the UberXL to pull up, the driver a friendly guy with a minivan. Bucky gets shotgun seeing as he is the tallest, while Steve and Natasha take the third seat as the smallest. Steve makes a big point in his vlog of stressing how far away he is from the windshield, even calling to Bucky to make sure he can hear him. Halfway home, he notices Bucky is turned in his seat, camera facing Steve the lens slowly getting longer and longer. Steve turns and makes a face, giving him an even worse thing to zoom in on.

“Can you see my nose hairs yet?” Steve asks and Bucky laughs as he finally stops his zoom and puts the camera down.

“Quality content,” he tells Steve.

Between them in the bucket seat, Clint shakes his head. “Children.”

At the apartment, Natasha and Clint give a grand tour. It is unneeded considering how often their apartment can be viewed in vlogs, but it is fun nevertheless to witness the banter and jokes between the two as they move around the apartment. They are much more sexual in real life than they let on in any video content and Steve had arguably known this from being close with Clint but it is an experience all the same to witness. Natasha makes a joke about how they have fucked in one of the armchairs more than the bed and Clint even makes a dildo joke about a vase, to which Natasha feigns offense as she was the one who bought it. It’s easy to tell that they are in their element, as much as Steve has ever seen: Clint is more comfortable home than in public, where the space is catered to him. The doorbell is a flashing light as well as a noise, and the subtitles on the TV are on permanently. The fire alarm is a strobe light, and the bed even has a shaker that can detect the noise of the fire alarm going off so Clint is safe, even in sleep. He does not fail to point out these things as he gives the tour and it makes Steve feel so happy for him.

When they finally get back to the kitchen, they lean against the counters and settle atop the granite to discuss dinner. They decide making a big family dinner from scratch will be fun and Sam volunteers to go grocery shopping. Steve and Bucky are designated for picking up some beer to go with dinner, and Clint heads to the shower because he is feeling gritty after the beach. They huddle in the kitchen like a sports team and count to three before Natasha yells and signs “Break!” and they all head their separate ways.

There is a liquor store a few blocks ever and Bucky leads the way, holding the door for Steve as they enter the cool air conditioning. A huge sign at the back announces that they have a “Beer Cave” along that wall. Steve leads the way down the nearest aisle to find the glass door leading into the spacious refrigerator.

“Fuck it’s freezing,” he mutters as he steps inside, Bucky just behind.

“We’ll be quick,” Bucky says. “What type of beer do you like?”

“I’m always a slut for Blue Moon,” Steve says without thinking, then claps his hand over his mouth.

Bucky bursts out laughing, shoulders shaking, as he doubles over.

“I’m sorry, my brain just… memes sometimes,” Steve says, shocked by himself. It was an old meme too and he feels betrayed by his mind for supplying it.

Bucky straightens and wipes a finger beneath his eye. “No, that was perfect.” It takes Bucky a moment longer to fully get his shit together and Steve is both proud of himself and embarrassed.

“What kind of beer do you like?” Steve asks.

“Not picky at all.” Bucky grabs a six pack of Blue Moon off of a shelf and eyes the surrounding brands. “How many do you think we need? Twelve or eighteen?”

“I feel like we would be good with twelve considering we have all drank so much lately, but I also don’t want to face the wrath if we don’t get enough,” Steve says.

Bucky grabs a six pack of Heineken and then motions for Steve to grab another. “I vote we go with eighteen.”

“People like this, right?” Steve asks, reaching for Coors.

“Yeah, we should be good with these.” Steve films their haul while still in the Beer Cave, despite the cold, so the single worker doesn’t watch him jokingly tell his viewers never to drink but then seriously tell them to definitely not if they’re underage. Bucky has Steve film his full arms on his own vlog, without disclaimers seeing as Steve is just a more family friendly than Bucky’s channel.

The cashier cards them, probably because of Steve’s lack of build, and Bucky quickly swipes a card and then they’re off back to the apartment.

“Thank god we’re back outside,” Steve says. “It was freezing in there.”

“Are you always cold?” Bucky asks, eyeing Steve in what most would consider too much clothing for summer in California.

“Maybe…”

They unsurprisingly get back to the apartment before Natasha and Sam. They immediately put the beer in the fridge, Steve first as he has a free hand and then Bucky, reaching around his slight frame as he holds the door open in the small kitchen. This leaves them  _ very _ much in one another’s personal space, sandwiched between the open door and the wall. Steve finds his eyes trained on the lips that he hasn’t kissed at all today, despite promises this morning and this is the first time they have been alone and not in public together and they really didn’t stand a chance of things not coming to well…this.

Bucky barely tilts his head down, like an invitation, and Steve surges up on his toes to press their lips together. Bucky responds immediately, sliding his hands around Steve’s back and pulling them away from the fridge together so the door claps shut. Bucky is pressed against the wall, reclined against it with Steve in his arms and standing between his loose knees. The entire kiss is a lot more like a desperate attack than any other lip lock they have had before, a note of urgency as Clint could come in any minute, or the others return home. They have limited time and both are intent on making the most of it.

As soon as Bucky’s knees hurt from being bent as he braces against the wall, he lifts Steve and backs him up to the counter, arms steadily setting him on the quartz as he nudges his way between his thighs. They only break the kiss for a moment before Steve dives back in, ignoring how out of breath he has already become.

They are now the same height and the angle is much more comfortable for both of them. The kiss is deepened by a new found vigor and where Bucky’s hands rest on Steve’s thighs he tightens his grip, a tension added to the air. Steve knows nothing else can happen in this moment, things can’t go any further, but  _ god _ does he want them to.

And then they hear keys at the door. They jump apart like they’ve been electrocuted, despite the entire group knowing they’re involved.

Natasha and Sam appear a moment later from the entryway, arms laden with grocery bags. Natasha takes one look at their wide eyes and Steve still sitting on the counter and raises her eyebrows. “Not subtle  _ at all _ . Where the fuck is Clint?”

Like he was summoned, the bedroom door pops open and Clint appears wearing gym shorts and a loose cotton shirt. He takes in the scene and sighs.

“Missed the show,” Sam teases, setting the grocery bags on the counter. Steve hops off and retreats around the peninsula counter to the dining area. “But we have chicken and spices and vegetables so get ready for a bomb AF meal.”

The kitchen is too small for all of them to fit, so Clint and Steve take up residence at the dining table to cut vegetables while Bucky and Natasha unpackage the chicken and attempt to track down a baking pan all the pieces can fit in. Sam puts himself in charge of distributing the beers and plays bartender for a few minutes of pouring ale down the sides of glasses and passing them out.

“How do you peel potatoes so fast?” Clint asks, watching Steve’s quick dexterity as he tackles the sweet potatoes.

“Muscle memory,” Steve says. “I learned to cook as soon as I was old enough since my mom worked so much so I’ve had practice.”

Clint tries to peel a potato, mimicking the swiping movement Steve uses, but he only gets about half the strip of potato skin. He sets down the potato and peeler. “I’ll stick to cutting the peppers,” he says. Steve smiles to himself and takes a swig of his beer.

It takes an inordinately long time to get everything in the oven, too many jokes and distractions happening to complete any task in a timely manner. More than once, they divulge into laughter or dancing to the Bluetooth speaker (Clint can feel the beat they have it turned so loud and can dance too) or merciless teasing, some bits of vegetables being dropped only for someone to exclaim “Five second rule!” and toss it back in the pan.

“The heat kills germs, right?” Sam asks rhetorically as he puts the pan into the oven. There is foil covering the top, to help it cook thoroughly.

“We’ll go with it, I don’t think it’ll kill any of us,” Clint signs.

“Speak for yourself,” Steve says. The joke meets a few uneasy laughs, unsure if Steve’s immune system is really that bad.

While they wait for everything to bake, stomachs grumbling and bodies becoming steadily more intoxicated, they decide a board game seems in order.

“There aren’t many in this house,” Clint says.

“Because board games are fucking expensive,” Natasha adds.

“But we have Monopoly—“

“The classic or another version?” Bucky interrupts.

“I think it’s Disney,” Natasha says.

“Okay, I can live with that, that’s not too weird.”

When Sam and Steve give him questioning looks, he elaborates. “Monopoly has gone off the deep end, like in a game that satires capitalism, it is  _ really _ into some capitalistic tendencies with the niche versions.”

“I didn't peg you as the angrily anti-capitalist,” Steve says thoughtfully.

“Capitalism sucks,” Bucky says. “Banks make me angry sometimes. I hate chain companies but put up with it because… ya know… L.A.”

“ _ And _ ,” Clint continues with a vigorous movement of his hands, “Settlers of Catan, Pictionary, and Shoots and Ladders.”

“Who still plays Shoots and Ladders?” Sam asks. “Is this the sixties?”

“Guess we’re not playing that,” Natasha says.

“But hear me out… Pictionary,” Steve says.

They do end up playing Pictionary. The food is done partway through the game and they have to balance time with pens in their hands to time with forks in their hands for a while. To his delight, Steve’s team wins. Apparently, no one had known his drawing prowess.

“Why are you even in photography, man?” Sam asks. “You could be making bank as a fine artist.”

“Why not both,” Bucky says.

“Time people, that is so much time,” Steve tells them as he tucks the game board back into the box. “Plus, photography makes me money on Instagram.”

“Capitalism strikes again!” Bucky jokes.

They are all a little drunk by the time they call it a night, arguably early for a group of twenty-something friends, but arguably late for the long day they have had. Sam calls an Uber to take Steve and him back to their hotel and Bucky leaves with them when it arrives.

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride too?” Steve asks him as he hesitates on the sidewalk.

Bucky smiles broadly, the lights from the apartment windows shining off his teeth. “It’s only a few blocks. I’ll see you tomorrow though, right?” The hopeful note in his voice makes Steve’s heart flutter.

“For sure, we should get breakfast or something.”

“Get everyone together for brunch maybe,” Bucky suggests. Behind Steve, Sam waits with the door to the Uber open, coughing impatiently.

“I guess I’ll see you then, we’ll text in the morning,” Steve says, stepping forwards to hug Bucky. He is quickly squeezed in Bucky’s stronger arms, and a quick kiss pressed to his cheek as he pulls away.

“See you then,” Bucky responds, and then he turns to walk down the sidewalk.

 

True to their word, they text the next morning about getting food. Steve had woken up in the late morning and is still exhausted, what with the weekend being so long, but is determined to see Bucky before the flight in the afternoon.

“You arrange this shit,” Sam says, “I’ll just go so you can see your boy before we leave.”

“He’s not ‘my boy’,” Steve argues, but Sam isn’t paying much attention.

“Whatever you say.”

They agree to meet at a café in Beverly Grove. Bucky, Clint, and Natasha walk from where there apartments are just one neighborhood over but Steve and Sam take an Uber.

“Give him a good review,” Sam tells Steve as they get out of the Honda that had picked them up at the hotel. Steve has his phone out from tracking their car’s progress on the app’s map. “He was fun to chat with.”

“I can’t imagine Steve giving a bad review,” Bucky’s voice chimes in and there he is on the sidewalk. As per usual, Steve’s lungs stop working for a moment since Bucky is just so  _ nice _ to look at. His vlogging camera is up, filming their arrival, but he turns it off to swoop forwards and pull Steve into a hug.

They head inside, where Natasha has already put her name in and wait just a few minutes for a table. They empty a pot of the waiter’s coffee all on their own and place orders of skillets and pancake stacks. They may have come to brunch, but this restaurant is an everyday diner, complete with red vinyl and checkerboard tiles, not at all what Steve had pictured for brunch in L.A. He loves it.

“I need to take pictures before I leave,” he tells no one in particular. “This place is great.”

They eat and converse and Instagram their food for a little over an hour. When Steve starts digging through his backpack, Clint humors him and the two set off to find a spot by the window to get a few pictures of the restaurant. Clint poses with his coffee cup in front of the large windows along the street and Steve’s camera snaps away, capturing the way the sun backlights Clint’s figure.

When they return to the table, Steve slips into his seat beside Bucky, who immediately asks to see what he has captured. They spend a few moments talking photography and cameras. Steve is explaining the differences between his three lenses before he notices the table has gone quiet.

Steve looks up to find everyone watching them. “What?”

“You two are freaking adorable,” Sam says.

“That’s all,” Clint tells them.

“Fuck off,” Steve says, but there is a joke in his tone. He may not like being called cute, having heard it his whole life, but he doesn’t mind so much when it comes from his friends rather than the high school girls who want a “gay best friend.”

They leave the table soon after, not ready to part ways but needing to leave the restaurant.

“Where to?” Natasha asks, walking in front of Steve and Bucky with an arm looped through both Clint’s arm and Sam’s arm.

“What time is your flight?” Bucky asks.

“Two fifteen.”

“So we should leave for the airport at one-ish.”

“And we’re already packed, so we have forty minutes to kill,” Steve says, organized for once on this trip.

“Shopping?” Bucky suggests.

“I don’t think anyone is going to argue with you,” Clint says, untangling his arm from Natasha’s to do so.

They wander north to Beverly Boulevard to find shops. The walk takes longer than it should, with Steve stopping to take pictures, Clint getting shots for his artistic vlogs, everyone else cataloguing their day thus far, and Natasha’s attempts to get an outfit of the day picture for Instagram.

Eventually, they end up in the mall,talking more than actually shopping. Sam does end up buying a pair of boots that are on sale in Express, but mostly they explore and joke and vlog. Natasha wanders into the Michael Kors store but Bucky spends more time looking at watches than she does in the entire store and Steve vlogs some panning shots of the minimalistic establishment.

Steve can’t believe how much he is enjoying this. He is just with friends, walking around an overpriced L.A. shopping mall, but he is so thoroughly enjoying himself that his heart sinks the moment Sam’s phone alarm goes off to warn them they need to start thinking about the airport.

“Nope,” Steve says when it goes off. He is standing beside Bucky in the Vans store ogling all the new patterns released in the shoes, zooming in on an especially lovely pair of suede high tops Bucky is eyeing.

“Steve, we need to get going.”

“Nope.” This time it is Bucky, who has turned away from shoes to draw Steve under his arm. Steve stops recording as he does so.

Sam rolls his eyes, checks that everyone has ceased their vlogging for privacy’s sake, and mutters ‘Lover boys’, under his breath.

They do leave the shop though, Bucky looking back once wistfully at the suede high tops, and head out of the mall. Clint and Natasha say goodbye first with vlogged hugs and wishes of safe travels. Sam “excuses” himself to order an Uber back to their hotel to get their luggage while Bucky and Steve stand on the sidewalk.

“Call me when you get home tonight,” Bucky asks of Steve. “And you should post that picture Clint took of you and me on the beach yesterday.” Steve recognizes that this is the closest he is going to get to a tearful goodbye from Bucky, too conscious to show true emotions.

“I will, don’t worry,” Steve answers. Feeling like a small child, he reaches for Bucky and hugs him, momentarily burying his face into the soft cotton of his shirt and breathing in the smell of his detergent that has become so familiar over the last few days. “You should visit New York sometime, you need to see it again.”

“I will, I’ll figure it out soon.”  _ Don’t worry, we’ll make this work _ .

“Good, the city misses you.”  _ I’ll miss you. _

“I miss it too.”  _ I’ll miss you too. _

Sam reappears then, and Steve retracts from Bucky’s embrace and lets go of the shirt material he had clenched tightly in his fist.

“Uber will be here in just a minute,” Sam says. Steve feels like his eyes are red, but Sam doesn’t comment, so maybe he doesn’t notice.

A Camry pulls up to take them to their luggage and Steve steals a fleeting kiss from Bucky before clambering into the backseat with Sam.

“That fine lookin’ fellow your boyfriend?” the driver asks.

“I hope,” Steve replies.

“You’re a lucky one.”

Steve waves to Bucky as they pull away from the curb. “Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few notes:  
> I do plan on writing more about this universe so subscribe **to the series** to get notifications when I add more! It might be a bit as I have two other fics to work on before then but it will definitely happen!  
>  I kind of combined Downtown Disney in Florida with the Anaheim one because I have only been to the Florida one and online, the Anaheim one seemed way more lame tbh  
> The inspiration for the scenes on the parking garage roof came from VidCon 2014 when [ a whole group of YouTubers did this and vlogged it ](https://youtu.be/pSIZ2_s3rgA?t=688)  
> Clint's drone is the DJI Phantom 4

**Author's Note:**

> A few quick things: VidCon has gotten somewhat better in the last few years about creating an inclusive environment but it is true that they only bring interpreters to the stages where the YouTubers ask for one which is a damn shame. Also, I have watched plenty of VidCon vlogs but have never been myself so some details of the convention might be far from the truth. 
> 
> There will more than likely be a second chapter to this to simply elaborate on the rest of the convention, but it won't be like an actual plot probably, more like snapshots. And if people like this, I do want to write more within the series of other YouTube events and stuff, but we will see!
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed, they mean so much!! Come talk to me on [my tumblr](http://smithsonianstucky.tumblr.com) if you want!


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